Three friends were having lunch together; Jack Benny, George Burns and Edgar Bergen. If you remember, Jack Benny had a reputation for being tightwad. George Burns always said he had a "reach impediment" when it came to picking up the bill, and was, therefore surprised to hear Benny ask for the check. On the way out Burns complimented Benny by saying, "That was good of you to ask for the check." To which Benny replied, "I did not ask for the check, and that's the last time I'll have lunch with a ventriloquist." (1)

According to Bits and Pieces: a British publication once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. Among the thousands of answers received were the following: "One who multiplies joys, divides grief, and whose honesty is inviolable." "One who understands our silence."…