A joke appeared on the Internet recently that many of you women can relate to. A man was praying, “Oh Lord, please have mercy on me, I work so very hard, meanwhile my wife stays at home. I would give anything if you would grant me one wish. Please, switch me into my wife. She’s got it easy at home and I want to teach her a lesson about how tough a man’s life is!”
As God was listening he felt sorry for this poor soul and granted his wish. So . . . the next morning this man wakes up at dawn . . . as a woman. This new woman takes a quick shower and also takes care of the rest of her grooming quickly so that she can make coffee for herself and her spouse, feed the cat, make lunch boxes, prepare breakfast for four, wake up the kids for school, prepare clothes for the littlest one, put a load of clothes in the washer, take the meat out of the freezer, drive the kids to school, on the way back, stop at the gas station for a fill-up, cash a check at the local bank, stop by to pay the electricity and phone bills, pick up some clothes from the cleaners, quickly go to the grocery store for this week’s essentials, and on the last leg home, stop at the post office to pick up a package.
By the time she gets home, it’s 1:00 p.m. already, so she makes the beds, takes the clothes out of the washer, puts them into the dryer and puts another load in to wash, folds and puts away the clothes that don’t need ironing, vacuums the house, boils some rice for a late lunch, goes to pick up the kids from school and argues with them while driving.
As soon as she gets home, she feeds the kids a snack, puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and starts it, takes out a second load of damp clothes to put into the dryer, helps the kids with their homework, finally feeds the dog, watches some TV while ironing some clothes from the first load, prepares and serves dinner, empties the dishwasher to load some more, cleans the stovetop and puts away leftovers, prepares the trash to be taken out, gives the youngest kid a bath, reads them each a story to put them to sleep, and pays some loving attention to her husband . . .
The next morning this man who had prayed to become a woman prays to God once again: “Oh Lord, what was I thinking when I asked you to grant my wish, I can’t take it anymore. I beg you please switch me back to myself, please oh please!”
Then he heard God’s voice speaking to him, saying: “Dear son, of course I’ll switch you back into yourself now that you are wiser, but there’s one minor detail. It’ll be nine months before I can comply. I’m afraid you’re pregnant.” (1)
What did folks say in previous generations? “A man’s work is from sun to sun, a woman’s work is never done.”
Well, some things haven’t changed, while some things have. Women now are also in the workplace. So now, women also work from sun to sun, but for many women, when they get home, the day has just begun. That is why the biblical story of Mary and Martha is a little tricky for some women.
Most of you know the story. Jesus and his disciples are making a journey and they come to the village of Bethany. And a woman named Martha opens her home to Jesus. It has been speculated that Martha was a widow. It was still relatively rare in those times for a woman to own her own home, and this was a home evidently large enough to accommodate many guests. Certainly Martha was an industrious woman. It may be that she had made her own way in the world. It did happen in the ancient world. Think of Lydia, the seller of purple cloth. But it was still rare.
Martha shared her home with her sister Mary and their brother Lazarus. Yes, this is the same Lazarus that Jesus would later raise from the dead. Jesus developed quite a warm friendship with Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Remember how in John’s Gospel Jesus wept at Lazarus’ tomb. Actually, the Greek language says “Jesus sobbed” at Lazarus’ tomb. Jesus loved Mary, Martha and Lazarus.
Most commentators assume that Mary was the younger sister. The scriptures don’t actually tell us that either. Some interpreters have assumed that Mary was younger because Martha owned the home. Or perhaps the supposed birth order of Martha and Mary has been deduced from their behavior. We often stereotype the older sister as being more responsible; the younger more free-spirited. Whether you buy into this stereotype probably depends upon your experience with your sister or with sisters you have known.
When our story opens Jesus is teaching in Martha’s home and free-spirited Mary is sitting in rapt attention at Jesus’ feet listening to his every word. It was customary in the Middle East for students to sit at the feet of their teacher. However, it was not customary in first-century Palestinian Jewish society for a woman to be included among those students. Normally in the ancient world, all of the adult women would have shared in the responsibility for preparing a meal, but it appears that Mary chose not to help.
It says a lot about Jesus that he doesn’t encourage Mary to help Martha. In patriarchal societies, there was (and still is) a strict division of labor along gender lines. Jesus was continually startling people with his disregard for cultural customs, especially within the family, and this is just one more. Of course, it should not surprise us that Jesus would not restrict the privilege of sitting at his feet according to gender. Jesus did more to liberate women than any man who ever lived. Just because some of his followers through the centuries have not been as enlightened as he was doesn’t change the fact that Jesus did not discriminate.
Jesus was full of surprises. Even today people try to put Jesus in a box. We think, “Here’s what Jesus would do.” Be careful when you do that. Jesus would be just as upsetting to our cultural expectations as he was to that of the first century.
While Mary is sitting happily at Jesus’ feet, Martha is working like crazy. Luke puts it like this: “Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.”
Some of you women, particularly, know what that’s like. It’s not easy entertaining guests in your home. There is so much to be done. Particularly when you’re entertaining a group of first-century men who are accustomed to having women treat them like masters. And it’s even worse if you have a good-for-nothing sister who lollygags with the men and refuses to help. Excuse me. Am I taking sides?
Martha is thoroughly disgusted with Mary and she makes her displeasure with her sibling known. She comes to Jesus and asks, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” Some of you are inwardly thinking to yourself, “Go, girl. Mary ought to be helping. It’s only right.” But, as usual, Jesus surprises us.
“Martha, Martha,” Jesus answered, “chill out.” Well, he didn’t exactly didn’t say, “Chill out.” But it amounts to the same thing. He says something like, “Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is really important right now and Mary has chosen it.”
This was not the reply Martha expected. And here, of course, is the message of our text for the day. There are many things that are important in life, but only one thing is of ultimate importance that is sitting at the feet of Jesus.
Martha was not in the wrong in going about her duties. We all know that. Jesus knew that. There would have been a house full of hungry men if Martha had not been so conscientious in seeing after all the details of entertaining her guests. This was probably the focal point of her life caring for her home caring for her family. Martha was a responsible person. She did the things she believed were important and she did them well. We’ve all known Marthas, and we give God thanks for them. Some of them make all kinds of good things happen in our homes and in our church. But there is another dimension to life besides doing. There is more to life than simply keeping busy even keeping busy doing good, looking after others.
Many scholars have suggested that it may not be accidental that Luke placed the story of Mary and Martha immediately after the story of the Good Samaritan.
Think about that for a moment. What is the significance of the story of the Good Samaritan? It’s a call to action, isn’t it? It’s a call for us to care for the needy and to get busy ministering to their needs.
You know the story. A man has fallen among robbers who strip him of his clothes, beat him and go away, leaving him half dead. There he is lying beaten, bruised and probably dying beside the road. A priest and a Levite pass by and they do nothing. But a lowly Samaritan comes by, binds up the man’s wounds, puts him on his donkey, takes him to a nearby inn and tells the landlord to take care of the man and put it on his tab. It is one of Jesus’ best known stories and it is a call to action. It is a call to duty. It is a summons to take care of your neighbor, whoever that neighbor may be. And for two thousand years Christians have been building hospitals and looking after orphans and widows, feeding the hungry and doing all kinds of good works.
And that’s good. Those are things we ought to be doing . . . and more! I am grateful that Christians are in the forefront of every movement designed to make this world a better place. That is exactly where Jesus wants us to be.
Former President Jimmy Carter in his book Living Faith tells about a group of Christian laymen who were doing missionary work. They approached a small village near an Amish settlement. Seeking a possible convert, they confronted an Amish farmer and asked him, “Brother, are you a Christian?”
The farmer thought for a moment and then said, “Wait just a few minutes.” He wrote down a list of names on a tablet and handed it to the lay evangelist.
“Here is a list of people who know me best,” he said. “Please ask them if I am a Christian.” (2)
I love that story. Ask my neighbor if I am a Christian. That would be a good test for all of us to take. The clear implication is that you ought to be able to tell a Christian by what he or she does. And I am sympathetic to that perspective as are most of you, I suspect. However, that is not all of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. It is not even the better part of being a follower of Jesus. If it were, there would have been no need for Jesus to lovingly correct Martha.
We need to take time to sit at the feet of Jesus. It is good to be a responsible person going about doing all the good we can. It is important for us to take care of our families, and to feed the homeless and to serve our fellow men and women wherever they may be. But, in the process, we need to feed our own souls. This is where worship comes into the picture, and Bible study and prayer. We need to take time each day sitting at the feet of Jesus. That is where the fuel comes from for doing good works, meeting our responsibilities. Otherwise we run the risk of either burning out or resenting the tasks we are responsible for. We need the refreshment of seeking God’s presence. We need to study the scriptures and to reflect on their meaning for our lives.
There is a wonderful story in one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books that says it all. A father lay staring up at the ceiling. Beside him, his wife was fast asleep, exhausted after the long drive back home. The drive was made even longer by the emotional strain of returning home without their only daughter. It was her first day at the university. It was her first time away from them.
The father reminisced about his first day of college. It seemed like a lifetime ago, riding in his father’s rickety old truck with his whole life packed into the back.
The drive was incredibly long. He remembered a stop by a stream and eating lunch. But the similarities to his daughter’s experience ended there. His daughter had a much larger dorm, stuffed full of electronics he could’ve only dreamed of at her age.
When his father left him, he looked him in the eye, shook his hand and said, “I have no real advice I can give. I was never smart enough to go to college myself. I don’t have much money even now to give you, but here is a checkbook. If you get in a bind, write yourself out a small check and I’ll do my best to make sure the money is there.” He pulled the checkbook out of his pocket and handed it to his son.
He then reached down and pulled out his old and worn Bible. There was never a night he didn’t see his father reading this Bible. He was a simple man, but he was a man of great strength and faith. Handing it to him, his father didn’t tell him to read it every morning or every night. He just said, “This can help you, if you will let it.”
Now lying in his own bed, decades later, this father felt a twinge of regret. He knew he gave his daughter all he could give, but despite all the wealth and prosperity he achieved in his own life, it amounted to nothing compared to what his own father gave him.
Quietly climbing out of bed, he made his way to the attic. He found the dusty old box his father’s Bible was in. He pulled it out and smiled. It was exactly as he remembered it.
He carried the Bible down into his office where he found a large, padded envelope and set it inside. He grinned as he wrote a note. “This can help you,” he wrote, “if you will let it.” (3)
And it can help you, my friend, if you will let it. But you need to read it regularly and you need to read it prayerfully.
Martha was a fine person. She was a wonderful homemaker and host. But, in her busy-ness, just as in ours, she ran the risk of missing what was most important in life sitting at the feet of Jesus. It’s an easy mistake to make. Do all the good, responsible things God wants you to do but don’t forget to spend time in God’s presence.
1. http://jokediary.com/2007/02/a-man-was-complaining-to-God.html.
2. Phillip Gunter, Leadership, Vol. 20, no. 2.
3. Chicken Soup for the Christian Family Soul, (Deerfield Beach, FL: Heath Communications, Inc., 2000), pp. 95‑97.