In our I.D.-electronic-cryptic-cyber-coded age, keys are not only physical things that plague our pockets and puncture our purses, keys are also digital. We're all janitors of the high school now with hundreds of keys to access hundreds of apps and inboxes. The problem is that these digital keys are mental keys, hauled about in the mainframe of our sometimes feeble minds. "Hey, mind, what's the key code to open the garage, raise the gate, log on, launch the app, access the ATM, retrieve the messages, unlock our memories, respond to Aunt B?"

Keys. I don't want another key. I wonder if Peter ever thought about returning the keys to Jesus, tossing them back to the Fisher King and saying, "Thanks, but no thanks.…