Knowing James and John wanted something of him Jesus asked, “What do you want me to do for you?” The modern equivalent of this question is “What can I do for you?” We hear it on all sides; for many it is a routine way to answer the phone. “Hello, this is Frank.” “Yea, what can I do for you?”
After a weekend together on retreat, a participant and I were at a dinner party. Looking at me seriously he said, “You do for a lot of people. I’m wondering if there is anything I can do for you. Just let me know, no matter what, and I’ll try to do it.” The offer shocked me. Never had anyone, in as intent a manner, made an offer like that. I was touched and tried to reply with sensitivity and appreciation.
“I’ve never had an offer like that. This is a first, and I’m very moved. Let me think on it for a while. At the moment I don’t know of anything I need that isn’t in the works. I....” After dinner we were together again. He abruptly dropped conversation with the group and turned to me confidentially.
“You didn’t ask me.”
“Ask you what?”
“If there is anything you can do for me”
To my surprise his question “What can I do for you?” had been radically transformed. Now it came out as “What can you do for me?”
At the outset of a new ministry, a man drew me aside after the service. His manner was equally serious, so I assumed the matter was also. “You are always called on by others, no matter the time or circumstances. You always have to be up and ready. I would like to be someone you can call on. It doesn’t matter when or what, I want you to feel free to call me a flat tire in the night, trouble with the house, a need to have someone to listen I want you to look on me that way.” From the quality of his speaking I was confident that he meant it. “What can I do for you?” actually meant, “I want to meet your needs.”
Most often we hear this question in a store. The clerk approaches us. “What can I do for you?” she says and means, “May I help you?” There are no overtones.
But, back to the phone. “Hi, this is Frank.” “Yea, what can I do for you?” This time we have a favor to ask.
“I need help; will you do me a favor?”
A long pause, then, “It all depends on what it is!” Evidently “What can I do for you?” is merely a way for the person to feel big, much like Jack Horner who felt himself to be a good boy just because he accidentally pulled out a big fat plum. So Frank’s friend is looking for a way to feel expansive without costing him anything at all. Perhaps “What can I do for you?” amounts to little more than “Hello,” which, like the question, can be said with a tired or happy voice.
So, we find that our question, “What can I do for you?” can mean anything from “I want to be of real help,” to “What can you do for me?” It carries countless shades of meaning. We might call them games we play.
Now, I have to be honest with you. I take Jesus to be extremely wise. Therefore I’m inclined to look on everything he says as containing instruction worth our best attention. Let’s look at the way he handled this question and see his perspective on it.
“What can I do for you?” he asked James and John. They wanted to sit beside him, one at his right and the other at his left, in his glory. “OK,” he replied, taking their request seriously. “To do that you must drink my cup and receive my baptism. Can you do that?”
“Oh, we can do that!” they replied.
“So you will,” Jesus goes on, “drink the cup of suffering and experience the baptism of discipline and rejection.” Again, they were determined that they could handle it. “But, even so,” Jesus is relentless, “it is not my possession to give you the right or left hand. It is God’s.”
Then he goes on to do good to them by providing a genuinely helpful answer: though God alone can give such special favors, Jesus teaches them how to stand a chance to gain the heavenly blessing they desire. To do so they must be servants, obeying the demands of servanthood, and accepting whatever comes of it. “If you would be great,” he taught, “you must be least of all; and if you would be on my right or left side in my glory, then be slave of all. Nevertheless, to be on the right or left, I cannot give that; for I myself came to serve and to give my life as a ransom for you. That’s as far as I can go. The rest belongs to God.”
What Jesus did for them was even more effective than if he had handed them their wishes on a silver platter. He taught them how to live life so that, whether they got what they wished or not, they would win the battle of life and gain favor with God.
We have to remember that people can be destroyed, not only if they do not get what they want, but also if they do. Jesus goes further: what about living so that, win or lose, people are victorious in life? That is what Jesus gave to the disciples. As for the reward they sought, he knew he could neither give it to them nor guarantee that they would receive it. Only God can do that, for the rewards are God’s to give as he pleases. But Jesus did give them the key to life so they could be among God’s chosen and have a chance of sitting at the right or left of Jesus. What a tragedy it would have been for them to believe and strive mightily, only to find when the right and left hand were passed out, that they were not even in the running.
Jesus gave them genuine help, even more than they asked for. His was a hard answer. I’m sure that at the time they did not really want such an answer. Who does? If that is what a place on the right and left requires, and the odds are so great, then, maybe, it isn’t worth drinking the cup and undergoing the baptism.
But, let us look and see. Real help is always more than what we ask for. How do we reply when people come to us for real help, wanting us to do important work in their lives? As they come up to us we can tell they are in great need, so we ask, “What can I do for you?”
The requests may sound different but underneath they have a common thread. If they are young athletes, “Help me be a pro, so I can get to the big leagues.” If they are a despairing spouse, “Help me save my marriage.” If they are very ambitious, “Help me to be an artist or public servant.” Or, if they are just like you and me, “Help me be happy.”
“OK,” we answer, using Jesus as a model. “So you really want to be in the big time, save your marriage, be an artist, be happy. Are you willing to pay the price?”
“Oh, yes,” they answer eagerly, innocently the young, the inexperienced, the naive, and the desperate.
“So you will,” we reply. “You will drink the cup of trying and failing, and the discipline that goes with it. You will forego your own will to accept what a coach teaches or what your marriage demands of your pride. You will receive the baptism of competition, so that all your efforts may fail because someone else is a split second faster or because your spouse is unbending. You will suffer demand after demand and, having done all, eat humble pie.” Finally, we say to the seekers, “Remember that you don’t get happiness by going after it; you do good things for others and excel in your own work; then happiness may come as a by-product.”
Seeking to be honest, even as Jesus was, we go deeper. “But, even so, having shown you how, I cannot guarantee you that you will get what you want. You may have neuroses in you that are beyond your control, or they may be in your mate; there’s a great amount of talent out there; and, happiness cannot be promised.” We know that any of these things is beyond guarantee. Life, the breaks, God all sorts of forces enter to determine who wins, how things turn out, and whether a person can be happy.
This much we can give: everything being equal, we can help the seeker be prepared so that at least they have the option to be in the big leagues; at least the possibility is theirs to save the marriage; and, if that is not saved, to save themselves. We hold out a chance for them to create the art and find joy in expressing the passion within; and, when the results are in, the groundwork is laid and happiness is a by-product. The maximum we can offer anyone is this, “If you try, you may get your wish. But, if you don’t try, you have no chance to win at all. Who knows, the winning may be in the trying.” Perhaps that is what life really means!
We know from working with our children or close friends that if they try and learn they will become viable persons and obtain a form of victory. Committing oneself to a discipline with hope holds the chance for the prizes. But, if prizes aren’t forthcoming, discipline can be applied to any number of life’s prospects. The person is equipped to manage real life not a fantasy life to be mature, to be a servant of all.
When it comes to marriages, we know that nothing less than letting go of anger, pride, hurt will even begin to meet the problem. In addition, we know that until a person begins to serve the good of the family above self there is no hope. We cannot guarantee a happy marriage or that the other spouse will change and make it easy; but, we do know that win, lose, or draw, the person we counsel will be in a position to live a good life.
As for being an outstanding artist, we probably have no knowledge of how to create a masterpiece, but we are sure that unless a person gives all to the task there is no chance of a masterpiece. If the person stops at the first rejection, there is no hope; and, if the top prize is their only motivation, they had best give it up. Joy must be in the doing which invests the whole self in the work. The outcome is something other. Then, whether they achieve renown or not, they are a genuine artist, knowing how to create, to give of themselves, and to start all over again and again.
As for happiness, we can not promise anyone that prize. We know that if they tackle meaningful jobs with great spirit, they may find, to their surprise, that they are happy doing what they do. Happiness comes along with a willing spirit and an upbeat confidence. It is not to be pursued just for itself. Like the bluebird of happiness, when held tightly, it dies; it must be let go if we are to possess it truly.
Jesus had a curious way of teaching. Sometimes he was direct. Often he was indirect, ironic, even caustic. “Help!” the pair cried out. “I’m giving you help. You might not want it when you hear it, but here it is, just the same. I can’t promise you will get the places you want; but I can guarantee something more dependable you will become self-sufficient persons, able to live on the right or left; or, those failing, you are equipped to live fully, assured of your self-worth and rejoicing in your efforts. I am not in charge of the reward system. God is. All I can do is equip you to stand a chance; to have an option. But, when I equip you, even if you do not get the places you wish, you will be victors in the game of life.”
His answer provides solid ground for being persons. Jesus’ first relationship was to God, who alone makes all gifts and assignments of coveted places. Our relation to God must be primary if we are to be realistic in our hope. As we maintain a right relationship with God, we branch out in a right relationship with others. We live as servants of all, as heroes bearing the Good News of the Kingdom of God. Along the way we may be misunderstood, misjudged, and even mistreated yes, both the cup and the baptism are before us. We learn this if we have lived deeply for even a few years. But, along with these insights, we come to grasp the real ground for being a person. This ground redeems us, regardless of the cup or baptism or anything else. The ground is God. In him we are constantly renewed, find new tasks and strengths for them, and finally achieve a dependable, working self-assurance, grounded not upon the accidents that accompany life but upon the solid rock which is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me: for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)