J. B. Phillips, in his book When God Was Man (Nashville: Abington, 1955), gives an upside-down version of the Beatitudes:

• Happy are the pushers, for they get on in the world.
• Happy are the hard-boiled, for they never let life hurt them.
• Happy are they who complain, for they get their own way in the end.
• Happy are the blase, for they never worry over their sins.
• Happy are the slave drivers, for they get results.
• Happy are the knowledgeable men of the world, for they know their way around.
• Happy are the troublemakers, for they make people take notice of them.