Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing the things that are said to be
Said one to another: "Now listen you two
There's a certain rumor, but it can't be true'
That man descended from our noble race-
Why, the very idea; it's a disgrace.

No monkey ever deserted his wife,
Starved her babies and ruined her life.
Nor did ever a mother-monkey
Leave her babies with others to bunk,
Or pass them on from one to another
'Till they scarcely knew who was their mother.

And another thing you'll never see
A monkey building a nest around a coconut tree,
And let the coconuts go to waste,
Forbidding all other monkeys to have a taste.
Why, if I build a fence around a coconut tree,
Starvation would cause me to distribute to you.

Here's another thing that a monkey won't do:
Go out at night and get on a stew;
Or use a gun, a club, or a knife
To take another monkey's life.
Yes, Man descended, the ornery cuss!
But Brother, he didn't descend from us."