I want to confess that I am a Tarzan movie buff. I love all of the old Tarzan movies, especially the ones with Johnny Weismuller. Even though I have seen every alligator he has ever killed, every elephant he has ever called, and every vine he has ever swung from, I never get tired of watching his movies. I guess that's why this story is both so funny and so meaningful to me.

It seems as if Tarzan was not himself, and Jane was very worried. It was apparent that Tarzan was developing a problem, a very serious problem. Tarzan had begun to drink. First, he started coming home after work and pouring himself a double shot of Scotch. From there he went to drinking bourbon, then he began to drink straight whiskey.

Now this made no sense. Tarzan was very conscious of his health, he watched his di…