E. Stanley Jones, well-known Christian missionary to India, tells of a situation where the fellow members of his ashram helped him in a problem regarding his spiritual reputation. It seems that for a number of years Jones had supported a prominent man financially. And when the time came that he could no longer support him, the man turned on Jones and attacked him in the public press. So E. Stanley Jones sat down and wrote a letter of reply of a few sentences, the kind of reply in which you don't give your opponent a leg to stand on. As he put it, "the kind of reply you are proud of the first five minutes, the second five minutes you're not so certain, and the third five minutes you know you're wrong." But before he mailed this letter he sent this reply to the people of the ashram to get their opinion of it. They sent it back with three words written on the margin: "Not sufficiently redemptive." As Jones read those words he was devastated. He knew that he was winning the argument, but losing his man. He knew immediately that the "Christian is not in the business of winning arguments, but of winning people." So he tore up the letter and said, "Lord, you'll have to take care of my reputation." A few weeks later he received a letter of apology from the man who had turned on him.

When the self is unsurrendered, it tends to be touchy, easily provoked, unable to bear insults. When the self is surrendered to Christ and the love of Jesus fills and cleanses the self, then we can bear all things, endure all things, and men and women are impacted by our lives.