Shiva is the Jewish custom of mourning. From ancient times, families sat together to mourn those who passed on. It’s clear that Jesus’ disciples understood their responsibilities in these customs. And yet Jesus, while honoring the dead in grief, defies these customs, even while defying death itself.

Jesus knows that it is not the custom that defines mourning, but the way one uses grief to honor the dead. We see this already in Matthew 8:22 when one of his disciples feels compelled to sit shiva for his father. Jesus instructs him to “leave the dead bury the dead,” and instead to remain on their mission to fulfill God’s plan and save the world of the living.

Now in our scripture for today, in Matthew 14, we see Jesus racked with grief over John’s death. As most likely one of John’s closest…