I don't know what this world is coming to. It seems to me that parents don't do as good a job raising their kids as they used to. Consider my neighbor. His punk kid ran off with a wad of money last year. A couple of days ago he came back looking like death warmed over and what are they doing? They're throwing a party for him. From what I've heard they are going to spend a bundle on it. Sounds like the affair will be bigger than a wedding bash. If you ask me it's scandalous, celebrating as though he was a wonderful, long lost loved one returned. It is tough raising kids these days and they are setting a poor example for the rest of us. But let me tell the story from the beginning.

My name is Aaron. I live on a farm across the road from Eli and Rachel Kahal. They're a devout Jewish couple, …