I would rather not mention it. Centuries of rabbis have spilt gallons of ink thinking up excuses for him. The author of Chronicles doesn’t waste a jot or tittle in telling the tale. After all, who enjoys slicing another hefty chink in a hero’s armor?

Lord Protector Oliver Cromwell told Sir Peter Lely to paint his portrait with the warts and all. Yet I have trouble brushstroking out the black deeds of David.

Shortly after he had been convicted for throwing the 1919 World Series, the great outfielder Shoeless Joe Jackson was accosted by a small tyke who pleaded, "Say it ain’t so, Joe, say it ain’t so." The sordid tale of David and Bathsheba is so. No amount of DeHart Deluxe Latex will wipe away their sin. Michelangelo’s statue of David portrays him as if he were about to line up for the hu…