[Note: This sketch takes place in the chancel of a church. The audience, of course, is seated all around but, to the two characters, it is empty. The characters may be either male or female - in fact, variations of sex and age between the two (and the resulting interaction) could provide very differing productions, indeed, almost a number of different plays.]

1: [Enters, climbs onto and sits on the altar]

2: [Enters, sits humbly near the back. Looks up and sees 1 on the altar and jumps up; very angry.] What do you think you’re doing!

1: [Looks at 2; says nothing.]

2: Well ... Are you deaf? What are you doing sitting on that altar? You can’t do that! This is a place of worship.

1: [Looks around]

2: Don’t you know what respect is? [Pause] Well, I’m waiting for some kind of explanation.…