The story is told about a gung-ho drill sergeant who always demanded the best from his soldiers. One day he stared in pained disbelief at a sloppy squad of new recruits wearing their uniforms for the first time. For a moment the sergeant was speechless with rage. Then he screamed in frustration, "Just step out here and look at yourselves!"
Now, I don't know how he expected them to do that ” "step out and look at themselves" ” but his basic concept was on target. There is a time when all of us should step out and take a good, hard look at ourselves.
One of the convicted co-conspirators in the Watergate scandal made a remarkable confession: "I have lived fifty years of my life without ever really coming to grips with the very basic questions of what is and what is not important to me; what is and what is not right and wrong; what is and what is not valuable and worthwhile." (1)
This man lived fifty years without stepping out and taking a look at himself. I hope you and I don't make that mistake. In fact, I want to ask you to do something for me. Actually, it's for you. I want each of you to take out a piece of paper. It could be a church bulletin or the back of a receipt in your wallet. It doesn't have to be very big. It only has to handle three words. Look around now and see if you can find a pen or pencil. Now, I want you to write three words listing the three highest values in your life. If money is your highest value, put it down. If family is your highest value, put it down. Nobody's going to know what you write on your paper but you and God. If being liked by your friends is your highest value put it down. Step out and take a good look at yourself, then write it down. Write down what matters most in your life. Do that now please. I'm asking that no one look on his or her neighbor's sheet. This is very personal. This is between you and God. Please write your list now.
HUMAN BEHAVIOR IS DRIVEN BY TWO FORCES: NEEDS AND VALUES.
You and I have certain needs. Some of these are physical needs: food, water, shelter, etc. Some of our needs are emotional: love, acceptance, recognition, power.
We all have needs. Some of those needs are immediate and overwhelming. When we are without food or water, we will do almost anything to satisfy our need for these staples of life. Unless we have these needs met we die. Most of our emotional needs are not that overwhelming, but they can leave us dissatisfied. If we are not careful, our emotional needs can even be destructive.
In his younger days Herbert von Carageen, world-renowned conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic, declared that he would sacrifice his grandmother, if necessary, to fulfill what he called his musical "mission." His "mission" later drove him to join the Nazi Party. After World War II he explained away his membership in the Party as merely an opportunistic career move. (2) How much damage he may have done in order to satisfy this mission ” his need for recognition in the musical world ” we will never know.
Chuck Colson, when he was the political advisor for Richard Nixon was famous during the Watergate days for saying almost the same thing as Carageen: "I would step on my mother," he said, "in order to see the president reelected." Although he has turned his life around and now is a bold witness for Jesus Christ, Colson disgraced himself and disappointed the American people because of his misguided need for power. All of us have needs. These needs, both physical and emotional are God-given. They are necessary for our survival. If they get out of hand, however, they can become killers.
Our values are a little different. Our values carry an element of choice. We choose a set of standards by which we live our lives. I don't know what you listed as your three highest values. Some of you may have listed God; others family. Some of you may have listed honesty or freedom or respect for others.
During the Gulf War, CBS correspondent Bob Simon was captured by the Iraqis. At several points during his captivity his jailers told him they were going to kill him. Simon said that during his imprisonment, he spent a lot of time looking back on his life. He began to realize that he didn't measure his life in terms of his journalistic accomplishments, his awards, his income, the famous people he had met, the fabulous places he had seen. He said what kept coming back to him, what wouldn't leave his mind were scenes of his family, like the times he had spent walking with his little daughter along the beach. For Bob Simon, family is an important value, as it is for many of us.
Jimmy Carter was asked by reporters if the night he won the presidential election would go down as the happiest moment of his life. "No," he answered without needing time to think it over. "Which, then?" they wanted to know. He told about the night the Carters' daughter, Amy, had been born. He and his sons, the youngest then fifteen, were so excited they woke up all their friends in Plains, Georgia, at two o'clock in the morning to tell them the news. Love of family is a value. So is love, honesty, tolerance, and many other standards by which people live their lives. We all have needs; we all have values.
MATURITY MAY BE DEFINED AS THE ABILITY TO BE VALUES- DRIVEN RATHER THAN NEEDS-DRIVEN.
I think you can see that rather easily, can't you? The immature person is driven only by his or her needs. How can I fulfill my physical needs ” needs for food, shelter, etc? How can I meet my emotional needs ” needs for recognition, power, security, etc.? If you are a needs-driven person, then other people are simply objects that you use to satisfy your needs ” whatever those needs are. You start becoming mature when you are able to subjugate your needs to your values.
For example, one of your needs may be acceptance by others. Let's suppose you are a teenager. One of the needs teens have is acceptance by their peers. No surprise there. But suppose you are a young person and the other young people you look to for acceptance get into some antisocial behavior ” say, minor shoplifting. You may come under intense pressure to conform to the group and shoplift, too. But one of your values is "Thou shalt not steal." So, do you listen to your needs or do you listen to your values? The mark of maturity is the ability to have your values outweigh your needs. Maturity has very little to do with age. I know teenagers who are more values-driven than many adults. Some of those teenagers are in this church.
FOR THE CHRISTIAN, OF COURSE, THE HIGHEST VALUE IS GOD.
Jesus said, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God . . ." Spiritually, you have reached the highest level of maturity when you are able to pray that God's will will be done in life ” even if all your needs are not met in return. This was the level at which Jesus was operating when he prayed in the garden, "Not my will, but thine be done." This was the prayer that led him to the cross. Jesus had needs just like you and I have. One of those needs was the ultimate need ” the need for self-preservation. That is a need all of us have. Most of us will do just about anything to keep from dying. Jesus had a value, though, that was higher than his need to survive. That value was to do the will of God. And thus he followed God's plan for his life all the way to the cross.
Now, let's look at our scripture. "And Jesus called to him the multitudes with the disciples, and said to them, ˜If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me . . .'" (RSV) What does he mean by telling us to deny ourselves? Does he not mean that we are to listen to our values and not our needs? That is what self-denial is all about. It isn't about giving up chocolate for Lent! Giving up chocolates or (anything else) may be a good spiritual discipline. It may certainly be good for your waistline, but it is not the kind of self-denial that Jesus had in mind. Self denial is about stepping out from ourselves and asking the question: Am I being driven by my needs or my values? And it means acknowledging that our highest value is to do the will of God.
So, here is where we have come to. All of us are driven by needs and values. Maturity means elevating our values over our needs. Christian faith means that our highest value is God. Now, I want you to go back to your three highest values that you selected at the beginning of this message. I am going to assume that each of these were worthy values. IS THERE A SPECIFIC COMMITMENT YOU COULD MAKE TODAY TO ONE OF YOUR CORE VALUES? Recognizing that true maturity in Christ comes when we become values-driven rather than needs-driven, is there some commitment you could make to a values-driven life? For example, if you listed family as one of your values, is there some particular commitment you need to make to your family that you could make today? If you listed God as your highest value ” or if you would like to list God now ” is there a particular commitment that you would make to God before you leave this room? Today's worship service can have a significant impact on our lives, if we could just come away with one commitment.
While you consider this request, let me tell you the story of Carrie Chapman Catt. Carrie Chapman Catt was one of the crusaders for women's suffrage ” women's right to vote. Carrie spent years of her life working tirelessly to earn this right for women. Everywhere she went she faced hostility, ridicule, and ostracism. As a young schoolteacher in Mason City, Iowa, she began a petition to allow women the right to vote in local elections, a move that brought her to the attention of the illustrious Susan B. Anthony. Anthony spent most of her life agitating for women's rights, but she was reaching her senior years, and now she needed an apprentice who would carry on her work. Carrie Chapman Catt had just the courage, dedication, and intelligence to do it.
Not long after Carrie met Susan B. Anthony, something happened in Carrie's life to steel her resolve even more. Her husband died suddenly, and Carrie was forced to support herself in one of the low-paying, menial jobs that were the only preserve for widowed women at that time. This opened her eyes even more to the powerlessness of the average woman in America. Now she knew that she would dedicate her life to working for women's rights. She spent years lecturing throughout the United States, writing newspaper articles, leading petition drives and peaceful protests, organizing women's meetings. She was relentless in her drive for the vote. Some of her work was fueled by a secret agenda: Carrie wanted the vote by the year 1920, the one-hundred year anniversary of Susan B. Anthony's birth. She wanted to so honor her mentor.
Slowly, opposition began to fall, state by state. The House of Representatives held a vote for women's suffrage on January 10, 1918. So persuasive had Carrie been that many representatives braved personal hardship to make it to the vote. A representative from New York had been urged by his dying wife to vote for the amendment, and he did. Another representative from Tennessee, suffering from a broken arm, insisted on voting for the amendment before he would go to the hospital to seek medical treatment. Another representative, hospitalized for the last six months, dragged himself into the House of Representatives just long enough to vote for suffrage. When it was announced that the vote for women's suffrage had passed the House of Representatives, Carrie Chapman Catt stood up in the crowded hall and sang, "Praise God from Whom all blessings flow . . ." and hundreds of voices joined in with her.
In 1919, the Senate approved the amendment for women's suffrage. Then, all the states had to vote on ratifying the Nineteenth Amendment. On August 26, 1920, the state of Tennessee ratified the Nineteenth Amendment. Women in the United States now had the right to vote. She had achieved her goal, and just in time to honor Susan B. Anthony. Carrie Chapman Catt spent the last years of her life educating women about the political process and working for world peace. (3)
Now you may be an old chauvinist and the story of Carrie Chapman Catt may not move you at all. That's all right. All I'm saying is that Mrs. Catt could have spent her years looking out only for herself. Instead, she stepped out and looked at herself, saw what her core values were, and gave her life for that in which she believed. Don't you believe that is what Christ wants you to do? Jesus said, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself . . ." Self denial has nothing to do with giving up chocolates. It has everything to do with a basic decision each of us must make: Are we driven by our values or our needs? Is the ultimate value in your life God?
1. Sidney Greenberg, "SAY YES TO LIFE," Crown Publishers, Inc., New York, NY. 1992.
2. Doug Sherman and William Hendricks, HOW TO SUCCEED WHERE IT REALLY COUNTS, (Colorado Springs, Colorado: NavPress, 1989), p. 19.
3. Harold and Doris Faber, AMERICAN HEROES OF THE 20TH CENTURY (New York: Random House, 1967), pp.125-133.