You can tell a lot about a family by finding out what happens if a child spills something. In some families, spilling your milk is a capital offense. A child can get in a lot of trouble if the milk is spilled. In other kinds of families, spilling your milk is understood as an accident, a thing that happened, and a form of chance or luck. In these families, there is no additional pain or punishment on top of the original pain of spilling.

     

If you are in a poor family, you may not get anymore milk. There may not be any. If you are in a more secure family, and you are not being punished for your spill, you will get more milk, the mess will be cleaned up, and life will go on.

     

So what is the difference? One family has one point of view on pain, the pain of the spill; the othe…