Note: This isn't a sermon but it's a good primer if you are preaching on the subject.
Our goal is to pray like Jesus. We want to improve the effectiveness of our prayers. That is our objective, but what are the means of reaching the goal? We have come to the time when we need to consider the nuts and bolts of Christlike prayer. What do we say? When do we say it? Where do we say it? How long should we pray? How often? These are some of the mechanics of prayer. They are important as means to the end.
The Length of Prayer
What should the duration of prayer be? How much time should be devoted to prayer? How much time do you have for prayer? It depends on the kind of prayer. A sentence prayer takes less than a minute. An arrow prayer takes even less time. But, when prayer involves Bible reading, reflection, and meditation, you are talking about a block of time.
Great Christians of the past spent hours in prayer. Martin Luther gave three hours per day for prayer. He explained, "I have so much business I cannot get on without spending three hours daily in prayer." John Wesley spent two hours daily in prayer and would let nothing take that time away from him. On the front page of each of his daily journals, he recorded his resolution to spend two hours daily in private prayer.
It seems unrealistic for the average busy person in today's world to take hours for prayer. Who among us could afford that much time and properly take care of homes, business, and personal responsibilities? If you had two or three hours daily for prayer, would you know how to profitably use that time? Our brief prayers may explain why today we do not have spiritual giants. They derived their power and motivation from God in prayer. If we are too busy to spend time with God, we are too busy and our souls suffer for it. If the average American watches TV seven hours a day, is it too much to expect a Christian to spend one hour a day in prayer?
The Time Of Prayer
The prophet Daniel prayed three times a day. Is that too often for a modern person? Some have difficulty finding time to pray once a day. When are the times we might pray?
Morning is a good time to pray. The Psalmist thought so, too: "O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I plead my case to you and watch" (Psalm 5:3). In an interview Mother Teresa was asked, "What did you do this morning?" Answer: "Pray." "When did you start?" "Half past four." Morning is an excellent time for prayer because it gives you strength for what follows throughout the day. A jeweler asked a friend who had a fine Swiss watch, "When do you wind your watch?" "Why, at night, before I retire," replied the friend. "Oh," said the jeweler, "a watch should be wound in the morning, so that it can start the day on a strong spring. It would then be prepared against the bumps and shocks of the day." What is good for a watch is good for the soul. In the morning by prayer you can get in tune with God and ask for strength and wisdom to handle whatever the day may bring. After the morning prayer, you can confidently say, "Let's go for it!"
Bedtime is also a fitting time to pray. The bed makes a convenient "altar" before which you can kneel. At this time you can confess any mistakes you made that day, seek forgiveness, and be at peace with God. It is time to ask God to let his angels protect you from all harm and danger through the night. In trust you surrender yourself to God and put yourself in his care just as you put your whole trust in the bed to hold you up. Soon then you will fall asleep and rest the whole night through.
Prayer at meal times is an appropriate time to pray. It does not matter where you eat -- in the privacy of your home or in a public restaurant, whether it is a silent or oral prayer. This is the time to acknowledge God as the giver of everything you are and have. Without this providence, you would starve.
A very important time for prayer is at personal or family devotions. The latter is almost a thing of the past even in Christian homes. Family devotions is the time when the family gathers together with God. Both parents and children take part in the devotions: Bible reading, a meditation, and prayer. Like nothing else, family devotions solidifies the family in God. The effect can be seen in the spirit of the home and in the quality of life. In addition, there is need for a time for personal devotions. It is the time when a person is alone with God for Bible reading, meditation, and prayer. Because we are neglecting our devotions, it is estimated that in America there is only a five percent spirituality.
Some people pray only when there is an urgent need. They wait until there is a life-threatening event such as an announcement that a family member or friend has a terminal illness. It seems this is what might be called a "foxhole" prayer. A pastor was talking to children in a Children's Home and asked if they ever prayed. "Oh yes." "Fine, do you pray when you get up in the morning?" "No." "Well, do you pray when you go to bed at night?" "No." "Do you pray before meals then?" "No." "But when do you pray?" The children responded, "When grown-ups get angry." It is fine to pray when there is a need, but prayer is more than an emergency alarm!
St. Paul would say that we should always pray: "Pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Is that realistic? How could one pray without stopping? Consider the constant prayer of a church secretary who had a life-changing influence upon John Killinger, professor of religion at Stamford University, when he was a teenager: "She prayed in the morning. She prayed at noon; she prayed in the evening. She prayed as she typed; she prayed as she filed; she prayed as she talked on the telephone. It was almost inconceivable to me that there was a time in the day, or possibly in the night, when she wasn't praying. I don't think I ever saw her without believing that she had been in prayer at most 10 seconds ago." You, too, can pray without ceasing if you live, work, and play always in the consciousness of God's presence. Prayer does not require words. It can be an attitude or spirit. Your work can be a prayer. Your recreation also can be a prayer if it is done in the spirit of Christ.
If we are to pray unceasingly, is it possible to pray too much? If the prayer is repeated endlessly, it becomes vain repetition which Jesus condemned. Luther tells of the situation in his monastery: "Our lay brothers in Erfurt had to pray 400 Our Fathers in one day for the canonical hours. Once a certain brother said, 'If I were our Lord God, I wouldn't like to hear what I alone must pray, to say nothing of having my ears filled with the babbling of all the brothers.' " That kind of praying is too much praying!
Whenever we pray, we need persistent regularity. We dare not pray only when we feel like it, or when the spirit moves us, or when a crisis occurs. Effective prayer calls for praying every day at the same time and in the same place. Each of us should have a daily date with God, a holy tryst.
The Place Of Prayer
In our homes we have certain places where we do certain things. We have a place to eat -- a dining room. We have a place for fellowship -- a living room. We have a place to relax -- a den or family room. We have a place to sleep -- a bedroom. We have a place to work -- a home office. We have a place to play -- a recreation or play room. But, where is the place to pray -- a prayer room?
Where we pray is important. It adds or detracts from our prayer life. It needs to be a place that is quiet and free from disturbances and interruptions. It is a place to be alone with God. Repeatedly Jesus left the Disciples and the crowd to be alone to pray. When he heard the execution of John the Baptist, he took a boat and went to a place to be by himself (Matthew 14:13). After feeding 5,000, Jesus sent his Disciples off in a boat while he dismissed the crowd and "went up the mountain by himself to pray" (Matthew 14:23). While the Israelites were in the wilderness for 40 years, Moses erected a tent far from the people and daily went to this little tent to meet with Yahweh. John Wesley had a little prayer room just off his bedroom where he began each day with prayer.
This place of prayer can help us in our prayers. It is where we go day after day and it becomes so familiar to us that the place with its furnishings no longer distracts us. We may have a religious picture, hanging, or quotation that provides atmosphere for prayer. When we were first married, Barbara and I had our personal devotions in a joint study, for Barbara also is a minister. Soon we found that it was not a good arrangement because the slightest movement -- a chair, a cough, a sneeze, or even the turning of a page distracted us. Now we each go to a favorite place where each can be alone for Bible reading and prayer.
There is a variety of places where we can pray. There is no place that is perfect. Each of us needs to choose a place best for us. In the Bible we find a variety of places where people prayed.
Church or temple. When King Hezekiah learned that the Assyrians were planning to attack Jerusalem, he "went up to the house of the Lord and spread it before the Lord" (2 Kings 19:14). Today, some prefer to go to a chapel or church to pray. The atmosphere created by the altar, symbols, and stained-glass windows helps them to feel the presence of God.
Bed. A Psalmist prayed when he was in bed. "When I think of you on my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night" (Psalm 63:6). For some praying in bed may be the only time when there is silence and solitude in the home. A problem is falling asleep while praying! Would that be an affront to God?
Open air. Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac. When the servant arrived at a well in Nahor, he had even his ten camels kneel while he prayed for success in finding the right person for Isaac (Genesis 24:11-14).
Hillside. Jacob was fleeing from the wrath of Esau and when night came he stopped at Bethel, used a stone for a pillow, and had a dream of angels. In the morning he prayed and made promises to God that he tithe (Genesis 28:18-22).
Riverside. Paul and his associates went to preach at Philippi but there was no synagogue in the city. On the sabbath they went to the side of a river and held a prayer meeting there (Acts 16:13).
Seashore. Paul and his company were on their way to Jerusalem. When the ship came to Tyre, the Christians of that area escorted Paul outside the city. "There we knelt down on the beach and prayed" (Acts 21:5).
Private room. Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount taught that a person should go to one's private room, shut the door, and pray (Matthew 6:6).
It is obvious that any and every place can be a place of prayer. One may be better than another. Each person needs to find the best place to be alone with God where, free from distractions and interruptions, a wonderful time can be spent with Christ. St. Augustine insisted upon freedom from interruptions. Ten days before he died, he asked friends to visit him only when his physician came or when food was brought, so that he might spend his whole time in prayer. Once again, it proves that the place of prayer is important if prayer is to be meaningful and effective.
The Posture Of Prayer
Our posture reflects our feelings and convictions when we pray. It also helps us to feel the way we want to feel when we pray.
Our head. It is customary to bow the head when we pray. Bowing the head before God acknowledges the holiness and greatness of God. The publican who went to the temple to pray would not lift his head and eyes to heaven because he sensed his unworthiness. A bowed head expresses our humility, our finitude, and our creaturehood before the holy, transcendent, glorious God.
Our eyes. When we pray, we usually close our eyes unless we are reading a prayer. Why do we close our eyes? Why do couples usually close their eyes when they kiss each other? It is such an exciting and meaningful moment! We close our eyes during prayer because we can no more look into the face of God than we can look directly into the sun. God is too brilliant and glorious for human eyes to behold. Moreover, no one has ever seen God, because he is invisible. We can see God only in Christ. Closed eyes in prayer helps us to shut out the world with its distractions. With the world shut out, we can concentrate on what we are saying or on what we hear when we are led in prayer.
Our hands. What do we do or should we do with our hands when we pray? Surely, we do not use our hands when we pray, our lips but not our hands! And that can be a problem. What we do with our hands may detract from prayer. Some put their hands in their pockets and jingle their coins! Women may be fingering their handkerchiefs or reaching into their purses. Usually hands are folded in the front or back of a person. Roman Catholics usually have their hands together and held in front of their chests similar to Albert Durer's famous "praying hands." When a group prays, individuals often hold hands with their neighbors. Holding hands with others while praying solidifies the group before God.
Our bodies. One position of the body in prayer is kneeling. St. Paul knelt when he prayed, "I bow my knees before the Father" (Ephesians 3:14). At the end of his farewell message to the Ephesians "he knelt down with them all and prayed." When we kneel we express our humility. We kneel also when we want a favor. On our knees we plead and beseech, for we are desperate for help. Do you remember how you knelt before the girl asking her to marry you, or was this only in the good old days? When we kneel in prayer, we beg for mercy: "Lord, have mercy on me."
We have the example of great Christians who knelt for prayer. Eusebius, a fourth century church historian, tells about James, the brother of Jesus and head of the Jerusalem church: "He (James) used to enter alone in the temple and be found kneeling and praying for forgiveness for the people so that his knees grew hard like a camel's." Look at your knees -- are they calloused from kneeling in prayer? Washington was another who knelt. In the early days of our country the British Ambassador visited Congress and asked how he could tell George Washington from the others. "It will be easy," explained the friend. "When the members pray, President Washington is the one who kneels." Are we known for our kneeling? Alice Monroe tells about her mother: "My mother prayed on her knees at midday, at night, and first thing in the morning. Every day opened up to her to have God's will done in it. Every night she totted up what she'd done and said and thought, to see how it squared with Him."
Why don't we kneel in church as much as we used to? The liturgical churches, Roman Catholic, Episcopal, and Lutheran, used to have kneelers in the pews and at the altar rail for kneeling. Does it mean that we no longer need to express our humility before God or need to plead for mercy to have sins forgiven? In a recent tour of Nova Scotia we went to see the largest wooden church in North America, a Roman Catholic church. I searched for a place to kneel but found none. Are we the losers for it? One time a preacher, watching a marble cutter at work, exclaimed, "I wish I could deal such clanging blows on stony hearts!" The sculptor replied, "Maybe you could if you like me worked on your knees."
Standing is another posture for prayer. In prayer Jeremiah said to Yahweh, "Remember how I stood before you to speak good for them, to turn your wrath from them?" (Jeremiah 18:20). In the parable Jesus told about two men who went to the temple to pray. Both of them stood for their prayers.
Why stand for prayer? Prayer means we are in the presence of our glorious God. To express our respect and reverence we want to stand. In years past, gentlemen stood when a lady entered the room to express their respect and honor. Whenever the President, regardless of party, comes into a room, all, out of respect for the office of the presidency, stand. Dare we no less do the same when we come into God's presence to present our praise and petitions?
Sitting is a third way of posturing for prayer. King David sat to pray: "Then King David went in and sat before the Lord and said ..." (2 Samuel 7:18). Sitting expresses equality. When one comes for an interview, one does not sit down until invited to do so. Because of the symbolism of sitting as equality some are unwilling to sit when they pray. On the other hand, sitting enables a person to rest and relax. If you have much to say to God, you may want to sit. It is said that sitting for prayer in non-liturgical churches resulted from long pastoral prayers that extended from Genesis to Revelation.
Prostration is posture for prayer. In Gethsemane Jesus used this posture. In Matthew 26:39 it is reported that Jesus "threw himself on the ground and prayed." This is the posture Moslems use for prayer. They fall on their faces before Allah. As individuals Christian may use this posture but because of practical difficulties with stationary pews, Christians as a whole do not practice it in worship services. Nevertheless it is a worthy way to express to God our total unworthiness to come into his presence.
Reflection and Discussion
1. How much time each day do you set aside for prayer? Are you satisfied with this allotment?
2. Is there a danger in praying too much?
3. Does the place of prayer add or detract from your prayers?
4. If citizens stand when the President enters a room, should we stand for prayer?
5. Should a church make provision for people to kneel other than at a communion rail?
6. Why do we instinctively close our eyes when we pray?
"O Lord, our heavenly Father, almighty and everlasting God, who hast safely brought us to the beginning of this day. Defend us in the same with Thy mighty power and grant that this day we fall into no sin, neither run into any kind of danger; but that all our doings, being ordered by Thy governance, may be righteous in Thy sight; through Jesus Christ, Thy Son, our Lord. Amen." - Martin Luther
Some Other considerations:
Do you think God gets tired of hearing the same content and the same form of our prayers over and over again? The Psalmist cried out, "O sing to the Lord a new song" (Psalm 96:1). Perhaps we should say, "O pray to the Lord a new prayer!" Variety, they say, is the spice of life. It is also the spice of prayer. We tend to say in our prayers the same old thing in the same old way. God must be bored! A variety of prayers is available. Richard J. Foster, in a recent book, Prayer, gives 21 different kinds of prayer from "Simple Prayer" to "Radical Prayer."
Variety Of Biblical Prayers
1. Prayer without Faith -- read Acts 12:1-17. The prayer group asking for Peter's release from a Jerusalem prison did not believe their prayer would be answered.
2. Prayer of Struggle -- read Genesis 32:22-32. All night long Jacob wrestles with God before he faces Esau who, he thinks, is coming to kill him.
3. Prayer of Intensity -- read 2 Kings 20:1-7. With tears King Hezekiah prayed for an extension of his life and he got it!
4. Prayer of Intercession -- read Genesis 18:22-33. Abraham intercedes for Lot who is in the sin-city of Sodom.
5. Prayer of Friendship -- read Exodus 33:7-11. In a prayer tent outside the camp, Moses went daily to commune with his friend, Yahweh. "The Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend" (v. 11).
6. Prayer of Submission -- read Matthew 26:36-46. Even the Son of God had to submit to his Father's will to the point of death on a cross.
7. Prayer of Communication -- read Genesis 28:10-22. Run-away Jacob communicated with Yahweh in a dream in which he saw angels (messengers) ascending and descending from earth to heaven and from heaven to earth.
8. Prayer of Silence -- read 1 Samuel 1:12-14. Though Hannah's lips moved, she prayed silently for a child. Because the high priest, Eli, did not hear her words, he concluded she was drunk.
Meaningless Prayers
One variety of prayers is meaningless prayers. They may just as well be not offered because they do not reach the throne of God. One of these meaningless prayers is Fax prayers. Recently a fax service, run by Bezek the Israeli national phone company, enables Jews from anywhere in the world to have their prayers delivered by Bezek employees to the ancient and holy Wailing Wall in Jerusalem and deposited in the crevices of the wall. Paper prayers cannot speak! To think so is irrational and stupid.
Prayers that are faith-less are meaningless also. Faith is an absolute, indispensable requirement in prayer. There must be faith in God, in a God who hears and answers prayer. Without faith prayers consist of empty words. We are talking to ourselves.
Repetitious prayers are also meaningless. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus warned his Disciples not to pray like the Gentiles who used empty phrases and repeated endlessly thinking they would be heard for their much praying. God hears the prayer for the first time. He is not hard of hearing that the prayer must be repeated. Repetitious prayer is an exercise in futility. Thousands of "Our Fathers" and "Hail Marys" do not shorten the stay in Purgatory nor do they persuade God to answer the petition.
Silent Prayers
Silent prayers are usually offered by individuals who are praying by themselves. There is no one nearby. So, if that is the case, why speak audibly in prayer? Yet, in our private prayers we do speak but not audibly. Like Hannah, our lips may move but we make no sound. Why do we do that? We need silent words to express our thoughts, petitions, and feelings. You may picture Christ sitting in the chair next to you. You speak to him as you would speak to your dearest friend. It is warm, personal, and intimate. You tell him how much you love him and share your secrets, hopes, and dreams. This makes the prayer too personal to share with other humans. Oswald Chambers wrote, "The real reason for prayer is intimacy of relation with our Father." We may be so depressed and despondent that we do not want anybody to know about it except our merciful God and we say, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me." Or, it may be that we have sins to confess. We see no good reason for others to know about them. We feel free to tell God and know he is so loving that he will forgive.
When as individuals we pray silently, we find it easier to stop talking and give God a chance to talk to us. He does speak when we are still. He often speaks in a small voice like a whisper. Someone called Jeremiah 33:3 the telephone verse of the Bible: "Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things ...." One of the serious missing links in our personal and corporate prayers is silence. Who is more important to do the speaking: God or you? God has some very important things to say to you. He says he loves you, that your sins are forgiven, that heaven is a surety for you, that in the end all things will work for your good. To hear these and even more you and I must listen in our prayer time to God.
The truth is that true prayer needs no oral verbal expression. Prayer is communion and fellowship with God through Christ. In this communion we and God share thoughts and feelings. Something deeper than words is spirit. Our spirits reach out to the Great Spirit. The pinnacle of true prayer is just being in God's presence accompanied by peace, contentment, and joy. Three monks made an annual trip to a holy man. Two of the brothers asked many questions and shared thoughts and dreams, but the third man never said a word. After many visits, the holy man spoke to the silent brother. "Though you come often, you ask me no questions." Smiling the silent one said, "It is enough just to be with you, Father."
Oral Prayers
Oral prayers are used for corporate prayers. There is an assembly of believers who engage in prayer. Not all can pray at this time. There is not enough time to give a group of hundreds to pray one after the other. Feeling incapable and unworthy, some refuse to lead in prayer before a group. The prayer is spoken loudly for everyone to hear and engage in the leader's prayer. The leader should never pray as though he/she were praying privately. It is not "I pray" but "We pray." The public prayer is designed to offer prayer for all sorts and conditions of people, not only for the local group, not only for certain needy individuals, not only for the local church, but for the whole church throughout the world, for the nation and its problems, and for the world with its hunger, poverty, and wars. When corporate prayer is offered, it is not one person praying but the entire group is praying. The leader, liturgist, or pastor is praying on behalf of everyone. Corporate prayer is not for the people to listen to someone praying. Each in the congregation is supposed to pray in the words of the leader. Each is to echo the prayer, to repeat silently what is offered. When this is done, corporate prayer has power. Instead of one person praying, now 100, 300, or 500 are praying the same thing. When one person prays, it is like a single candle burning. In corporate prayer, there are 100, 300, or 500 candles burning. Think of the light 500 candles make in contrast to the one candle! This is in line with Jesus' teaching: "If two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven" (Matthew 18:19).
An example of an oral corporate prayer is a Collect. It "collects" the truth of a Scripture passage or sums up the truth in the Scripture lessons for a particular day of the Church Year usually in one sentence. Some collects used today come from the ancient period of church history. A collect concerning the church:
Most gracious Father, we humbly beseech Thee for Thy holy catholic church. Fill it with all truth, in all peace. Where it is corrupt, purify it; where it is in error, direct it; where anything is amiss, reform it; where it is right, strengthen it; where it is in want, provide for it; where it is divided and rent asunder, heal the breaches thereof, O Thou Holy One of Israel; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Another example of corporate prayer is what the church calls the Pastoral Prayer or the General prayer, or the Prayer of the Church. The prayer is designed to cover all the needs of the people, the church, the nation, and the world. To cover all these needs, the prayer is usually lengthy. The following is from The Book of Common Prayer:
Almighty God, Father of all mercies, we thine unworthy servants do give thee most humble and hearty thanks for all thy goodness and loving-kindness to us and to all men. We bless thee for our creation, preservation, and all the blessings of this life; but above all for thine inestimable love in the redemption of the world by our Lord Jesus Christ, for the means of grace, and for the hope of glory. And, we beseech thee, give us that due sense of all thy mercies, that our hearts may be unfeignedly thankful; and that we show forth thy praise, not only with our lips, but in our lives, by giving up our selves to thy service, and by walking before thee in holiness and righteousness all our days; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom with thee and the Holy Ghost, be all honor and glory, world without end. Amen.
Participatory Prayer
The personal, silent prayer is, of course, by one person. The oral, corporate prayers are uttered by a leader, pastor, or priest. In this corporate prayer the assembled people are led by a leader and the congregation prays with the leader silently. In participatory prayer there is more than one praying. It may be two leaders or it may be the leader and the congregation. The people audibly participate in the prayer. It helps people to realize that they, too, are engaged in the prayer.
A Bidding Prayer is offered by two leaders or pastors. Also, the prayer can be offered by the leader and the response by the congregation. The "bid" is a petition: "Let us pray for ..." The response gives the content of the petition. A bidding prayer has been used since ancient times, especially during Lent.
The bid: "Let us pray, dearly beloved, for the holy church of God, that our Lord God would grant it peace and unity, and preserve it throughout the world, keeping it perpetually upon the true foundation, Jesus Christ."
The petition: "Almighty and everlasting God, who hast revealed thy glory to all nations in Jesus Christ and the word of his truth: Keep in safety, we beseech thee, the works of thy mercy, that thy church, spread throughout all nations, may serve in the confession of thy Name; through Jesus Christ, thy Son, our Lord. Amen."
A Litany is a congregational prayer with dialogue between the liturgist (pastor, priest), and the people. Excerpts from a Litany:
Pastor: Lord have mercy upon us.
Congregation: Lord, have mercy upon us. Be gracious unto us. Help us, good Lord. From all sin, from all error, from all evil: Good Lord, deliver us.
A General or Pastoral Prayer is offered by the liturgist or pastor with the congregation responding. The pastor concludes each petition with "Lord, in your mercy --" The congregation completes the sentence: "Hear our prayer." This is repeated at the end of each petition. In a less formal way usually in non-liturgical churches the people may respond as the prayer proceeds by exclaiming, "Yes, Lord" or "Praise the Lord" or "Thank you, Jesus."
The people should always respond to a leader's prayer with an "Amen" meaning "Yes, so be it." The "Amen" gives the people's affirmation to the leader's petitions as to say "They are our petitions, too, Lord." The "Amen" closes a prayer with confidence, conviction, and assurance that God hears and will answer His people's requests.
Conforming To God's Will
There is a natural conflict between God's will and the human will. We are by nature willful and selfish. We come into the world as egomaniacs. We are self-centered and our whole world revolves around the "I" -- it is what I want, where I want to go or do. To conform the human will to God's will causes strife, struggling, and suffering. It is extremely painful at times. Did you ever witness the taming of a wild horse to where the horse would wear a bridle and tolerate a harness? A horse is useless if he kicks over the traces of his harness, refuses to obey the commands of the driver, and runs away with the wagon until a crash occurs. My father was a dairyman who had a number of milk wagons pulled by horses. When he needed more horses, he bought at a reduced price wild horses shipped from the West. The problem then was to tame the horse to be obedient and to pull the wagon. As a child I was horrified to see how the wild horse was whipped into submission to my father's will. I thought I could not stand to see the horse treated so badly. It was hard for me to realize that was necessary. The horse's will had to be broken to conform to my father's will. Otherwise the horse was of no practical use. It is the same way with our human wills which, with much suffering and discipline, must be brought in line with God's will or we will be of no earthly good to God.
Another way of understanding this is in terms of tuning up a musical instrument. When a youth I tried to play a violin. One thing I learned is that four strings had to be in tune for a harmonious melody. In tuning a string, it had to be stretched almost to the breaking point. The string was under such stress until it gave the right sound. It is that way in getting the strings of our wills to be in perfect harmony with God's will. There will be no sweet music until the human strings give the proper tune matching the perfect tune of God. But, that involves tension, stress on the human part -- the agony of getting in tune with God by prayer.
This applies also to a child's and a parent's will. A child is born with a self-centered will opposed to God's will. There is no more self-centered person in the world than a child. The child is naturally interested only in me and mine. The will of a child must be disciplined to conform to the parent's will. The authority of the parent must be acknowledged and accepted. The parent has the right to say to a child, "As long as you live in our house, you are expected to live by our rules and standards of conduct." This calls for obedience which must be learned by discipline. A willful child is usually a spoiled child and a spoiled child is a shame and disgrace to a parent.
The stronger the will of a person results in the stronger resistence to God's or the parent's will. If we are weak and easy-going, there is no problem. If we do not object or resent being told what to say or do, we easily give in to a higher will whether it is the will of God or a spouse or a boss. If we have a will of our own, it becomes agony to make our will God's will.
How then are we to pray? We must always pray "not my will but thine be done." If we pray, "If it be your will to heal," of course it is God's will for us to have health. "If it is your will for me to live," of course God wants us to live and live abundantly. "If it is your will to have peace," of course God wants peace on earth. "If it is your will to change a person," of course God wills godliness and goodness to possess every person. One thing is sure: God's will for us is always good. God loves each of us and desires only the very best for us. Therefore, we pray always to know and do God's will, and to do it we pray for strength, courage, and patience.
Causes Of Prayer Agony
Why does prayer at times have to be one of agony, struggle, and groaning? Consider these reasons:
First, a cause of agony is the desperate situations we are facing at the time. One of these desperate situations is the threat of disaster and destruction. It is not only when or if we are in a desperate situation but also when a member of our family or friend is in that kind of a situation. Abraham had that experience (Genesis 18:22-33) when his nephew was living in Sodom which was so wicked that God planned to obliterate it. If he did, innocent Lot and his family would also be destroyed. Abraham prayed persistently until he received God's assurance that if there were only 10 righteous people in the city, he would not destroy it.
How would we pray if we were threatened with disaster? Suppose we were in the path of a hurricane or tornado, or were in a crossfire between two rival gangs in a city ghetto, or kidnapped and threatened with rape or murder? Suppose a grizzly bear came after us while we were visiting a national park. Would we strive with God in prayer to be saved?
Second, the agony of prayer may be caused by approaching death. King Hezekiah had this experience (Isaiah 38:1-6). Through the prophet Isaiah God told the king he should get his things in order, for he would soon die. Hezekiah would not accept death. He prayed bitterly to be allowed to live. Because of his fervent prayers with tears, God gave him 15 more years of life. Suppose we received a message like that, what would we do? Suppose your doctor told you that you had an inoperable cancer and at best you had only six months to live. Suppose you had to have a heart transplant and the possibility of success was doubtful. Would you agonize in prayer because you wanted to live forever? Perhaps in your prayer you would accuse God of not being fair to you by taking your life prematurely. You may hate God for it. You struggled and wrestled with God until you came to the point of accepting your approaching death. Then you could say, "It is well with my soul. I have peace from surrendering to your will, O God."
Third, the agony of prayer may be the result of disappointment. Hannah was a sorely disappointed wife because she was childless (1 Samuel 1:1-20). Elkanah's other wife, Penninah, had sons and daughters and thereby felt more blessed than Hannah. She became so sad that she would not eat. She was deeply distressed and with tears prayed with all her heart. With agony she prayed until she became pregnant with Samuel.
In our disappointments we, too, may pray in agony. We may have hopes and dreams for our future but they all seem to have ended in ashes. One may have hope of going to college, but the death of a father made it necessary to drop out of school to go to work to support the family. One may have a beautiful dream of a happy marriage with children and a Christian home, but a spouse turns to alcoholism or to another man or woman. One may dream of having a long life but tragedy brings the end when you are only in your 20s. In times like these, when your soul is bitter and distressed, you cry out to God in prayer.
Fourth, fear may cause us to strive with God in prayer. It was so with Jacob who feared to meet his brother, Esau, who was coming with 400 horsemen. Jacob feared that his evil past was catching up with him. The night before Esau was due, Jacob spent the night alone with God with whom he wrestled. Jacob struggled with God until he gained God's blessing (Genesis 32:22-32).
Fear can paralyze us and we flee to God for relief. In our time much fear prevails in our society. There is the fear of violence. We are actually afraid to walk the city streets alone by day or by night. We are not safe even in our homes. Some time ago a man entered a home where children had a slumber party and a 12-year-old girl was kidnapped, raped, and murdered. In this day when companies are reducing their work forces, many people live in fear of losing their jobs and thereby facing unemployment and all the deprivations associated with it. In fears like this, we go to God in prayer seeking safety and security.
Fifth, the agony of prayer may be caused by a conflict between our will and God's will. Jesus' prayer in Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46) was one of agony. He told his three Disciples, "I am deeply grieved even to death." His threefold prayer was so strenuous that it caused him to sweat which fell to the ground like drops of blood. Jesus was fighting for his life and was trying to get his Father to see it his way: "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me."
Each of us may have from time to time a period like Gethsemane. We want something but it is not God's will for us to have it. One of the most difficult things to say is "Thy will be done."
Sixth, prayer becomes a struggle filled with agony of soul when we are deep in despair. A Psalmist (Psalm 130:1) had this experience. From the depth of his being, he prayed, "Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord. Lord, hear my voice." Life can get that way. All doors seem to be closed to us. We see no sense in going on. All hope has been lost. We are in the cellar of our lives and cry out for light and reason to keep on going when all seems to be lost.
Reflection/Discussion
1. Are there any "meaningless" prayers offered in your church?
2. What can anyone do to get a variety of prayers in a church?
3. Can one adequately pray without saying the words of our thoughts directed toward God?
4. Does silence play any part in personal or congregational prayers?
5. How do you feel about read prayers or impromptu or extemporaneous prayers?
6. Does including all sorts and conditions of people here and everywhere make a prayer too long in this modern age?
"Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost now and forever. Amen." - Betty Scott Stam