“A few years ago, someone near and dear gave me a Polo shirt for Christmas, and I said thank you, of course, and put it on, and tried to look pleased, but what I was thinking was, 'Burgundy?' In my experience, burgundy shirts are worn by guys who smoke cigarillos, drive Buick LeSabres, sit in the dark corners of cocktail lounges and place large wages on basketball games. I'm more of a wheat type of person. Wheat or antique blue. But did I turn to the giver and say, 'Sorry, I'm an English major and we don't wear this color'? No. I put it in a special section of my closet where I keep never-­to-be-worn clothes. After the three-month-Christmas-gift cooling-off period required by law, I gave the shirt to a shelter for the homeless. I hope it's being worn by someone, and yet I can imagine a hom…