There is a story about a poor guy who died. Much to his surprise he was sentenced not to heaven, but to Satan's domain. Before he was admitted, however, He was interviewed by Satan himself.

"It's pretty bad down here, isn't it?" asked the man.

"Not at all!" said Satan. "You're surrounded by people who know how to enjoy! Each day we have a theme. Monday, for example, is Party Day! We party around the clock. Tuesday is Alcohol Day! An open bar, take all you want! Wednesday is Tobacco Day! The finest Havana cigars, all the best cigarette blends."

The guy begins to brighten up. He says, "I'm sold. Let me in!" They let him in the gate and he promptly falls into a fiery pit where he is prodded by a nasty looking thing with a pitchfork. "Hey," he cried, "what happened to those Theme Days?"

"T…