Listen to this newspaper advertisement: Shrimp lovers platter with champagne and dessert -- $10.75 -- now until February 17.

Come to Red Lobster from now to February 17, and along with our other specials, we'll woo you with our very special "Shrimp Lovers' Platter". Start off with an Alaskan Shrimp cocktail; after that, enjoy a delicious combination of fried shrimp and stuffed shrimp.

Then get a valentine: Your choice of a glass of champagne or soft drink and a dessert. All for only $10.75. But hurry! You can fall in love for a limited time only.

Now you have to admit that Red Lobster was very creative in that ad. I mean, what better way to share a special time -- not in a French restaurant with exotically prepared foods with names you can't pronounce -- and lights so dim you can't read…