"If I go down, I'm taking you down with me." We've all heard that line. It's been used in movies and on television shows. We've seen it written in books and even in real-life news articles. Maybe we've even had it said directly to us. Somebody is in big trouble, and they are not going to face the punishment without involving someone else in their suffering.

Sometimes there's even a line that follows: "That's not just a threat; it's a promise," just to let us know that they are not bluffing. If they are going to bear the guilt, they are not going to bear it alone.

It's human nature not to want to take the blame for something, even if we are guilty of a wrongdoing. And at precisely such moments of confrontation, of being caught, we turn to our natural defenses. The number one of which is passi…