On Mother’s day we listed nine things a mother will never say. Today on this Father’s Day we list “Ten Things Dad Will Never Say.” See how your Dad would do:

10. Well, how about that! I’m lost. Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know, pumpkin. Now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain negative attitude. I like that!

7. Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car. Go crazy!

6. What do you mean you want to play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies. You kno…