The scenes I am about to describe happen thousands of times per day across America, with many variations. The setting may be the office of a pastor or counselor. Or these words could be spoken to a best friend over coffee or out jogging.

First, the voice of a wife: “You’ve heard of the great stone face? Well, I married it. All I ever see of Bob at breakfast is a hand groping for his coffee from behind the morning paper.”

Then we hear from a husband: “My wife is a really attractive person, until she opens her mouth. She has this whiny nag that grates on my nerves like scratching on a blackboard. It just keeps on whether you answer it or not. Some guys go to the golf course because they love the game; I go to escape.”

The complaints you have just heard have to do with communication. Nine …