Some technical writers who provide product descriptions and instructions on labels for us to follow, obviously get bored with their jobs. Why else would they add catchy little instructions on the labels that have no practicality except to add a little pizzazz to their work?

For example, there is an anonymous manufacturer of cotton T-shirts who added these wash instructions to the inside tag: “For Best Results: Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. Never iron [the design on the shirt].” He could have stopped there. But instead, he added, “For Worst Results: Drag thru puddle behind car. Blow dry on roof rack.” The next time you see a T-shirt being dragged through a mud puddle behind a car, you will know that somebody didn’t read the instructions.

Or the maker of Totally Natural Pet Shampoo, w…