It is in the home that we first develop our sense of who we are. Every child has a right to a secure, happy home life. Every child has a right to the love and nurture of his or her parents.

Akin to identity is the question of self-worth. Dr. James Dobson, author of several excellent books on raising children cautions us that, "A child can learn to doubt his worth at home even when he is deeply loved by his parents! Destructive ideas find their way into his thinking process, leading him to conclude that he is ugly or incredibly stupid or that he has already proved himself to be a hopeless failure in life."

The famous Psychiatrist Dr. Alfred Adler had an experience when a young boy which illustrates just how powerful such a belief can be upon behavior and ability. He got off to a bad start in arithmetic and his teacher became convinced that he was "dumb in mathematics." The teacher then advised the parents of this "fact" and told them not to expect too much of him. They too were convinced. Alder passively accepted the evaluation they had placed upon him. And his grades in arithmetic proved they had been correct. One day, however, he had a sudden flash of insight and thought he saw how to work a problem the teacher had put on the board, and which none of the other pupils could work. He announced as much to the teacher. She and the whole class laughed. Whereupon, he became indignant, strode to the blackboard, and worked the problem much to their amazement. In doing so, he realized that he could understand arithmetic. He felt a new confidence in his ability, and went on to become a good math student.

We need to encourage our children. We need not only to surround them with love but we need to help them feel competent as persons.

I wish every one of us had inscribed on the walls of our home the words of Dorothy Law Nolte's work, "Children Learn What They Live," and then kept this constantly before us in our daily activities.

• If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
• If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
• If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
• If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
• If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
• If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself.
• If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilty.

But...

• If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
• If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
• If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
• If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
• If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
• If a child lives with friendship, he learns joy.
• If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
• If a child lives with recognition, he learns to have goals.
• If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
• If a child lives with honesty, he learns truth.
• If a child lives with sincerity, he learns to have faith in himself and those around him.
• If a child lives with love, he learns that the world is a wonderful place.