One of the most terrifying places you can visit with a small, speedy toddler is a big, slow-you-down department store. The marketing geniuses who design floor layouts for these big stores have come up with a common strategy. Do away with nice direct aisles through the store; Do away with any and all right-angled organization within the various departments; Do away with straight lines, and customers will be forced to wander into areas they would never go into as they searched for their intended merchandise.

So on your way to the children's department – which is always located at the most distant back corner – you must traipse through housewares, linens, jewelry, and shoes. The path you take meanders and winds in half-circles, dead-ending at towels and then offering three different routes t…