Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our junk in the garage. Hello.

Only in America do we use voice mail to screen calls and have call-waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.