When our granddaughter Sarah was 12 years old, she tried out for cheerleader at her Middle School. After her try-out we asked her how she did. She said – “in a word ‘flawless’ and she said ‘the judges really liked me.’” Evidently she was right because she did make the cheerleader squad.

Well, Zacchaeus was not flawless… and he was not liked by anybody until Jesus came into Jericho that day. When Jesus came over to him and reached out to him with love and acceptance, Zacchaeus was bowled over… and he came down out of that sycamore tree saying with words and actions “I’m Sorry!” – “I am so sorry for what I have done and what I have been and with God’s help I want to be better.”

Late one night, I was surfing through the Television Channels when I came upon that blockbuster movie from many years ago called “Love Story.”

Ali McGraw and Ryan O’Neal were newlyweds. They had had a bitter argument. Angry words were spoken. Their spirits were wounded. Their feelings were hurt. Their relationship was strained. In pain and frustration, they had pulled back from one another. Then, awkwardly, tentatively… they tried to fix it.

Ryan O’Neal was trying to figure out how to apologize when… Ali McGraw interrupted him and said those words that became the marketing theme for that movie. She said to him: “Love means never having to say ‘I’m sorry’!”

Now, that sounds great… has a nice, sentimental ring to it… and evidently it drew people to the box office, but there’s only one thing wrong with it… It’s just not true!

That phrase “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”… ranks right up there with “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”… that sounds good, but in actuality it’s not true. Words do hurt… and… the ability to say “I’m sorry” is a very important ingredient in any love-commitment.

Saying “I’m Sorry” means “I love you” and I treasure our relationship.
Saying “I’m Sorry” means “I care about you” and I want so much for things to be right with us.
Saying “I’m Sorry” means “I cherish you, I didn’t mean to hurt you or disappoint you.”

But merely saying, “I’m sorry” is not enough. Just mouthing those words is not enough… In addition, we need to make amends by fixing the problem and by changing the behavior that caused the problem in the first place.

A classic illustration of this is found in the Zacchaeus story in Luke 19. When the light of Christ splashed into his life, Zacchaeus saw himself as he really was… and he didn’t like what he saw. So, he came down out of that sycamore tree in the spirit of penitence vowing to change his sinful ways. He came down out of that sycamore tree saying in his words and in his actions “I’m sorry,” “I’m sorry,” and that apology was an expression of his love for Christ.

Remember the story with me.

Jesus and His disciples were on the way to Jerusalem. Jesus was heading toward the cross. As they came to Jericho, a great crowd gathered to see Him. Zacchaeus was in the crowd. The scriptures tell us that he was a “chief tax-collector and rich”… and that he was despised and disliked by the people of Jericho… probably for a number of reasons.

1. For one thing, they disliked Zacchaeus because he was the chief tax-collector. He was responsible for gathering the hated Roman Tax on the products of Jericho, such as balsam… and upon the costly imports from Damascus and Arabia. In the day of Jesus, the tax-collectors were known for their greed… and were considered outcasts… and classed with thieves and cut-throats. Zacchaeus was a chief tax-collector… so he was greatly despised.

2. Also, Zacchaeus was regarded by the people of Jericho as a “traitor.” He was a fellow-Jew who had betrayed his people, his nation, his faith and his God. To them, he was a “turn-coat”… who had gotten rich at their expense. So, they resented him and rejected him.

This was the setting when Jesus came to Jericho that day. Along with everybody else,… Zacchaeus was also eager to see Jesus, but being a little man… he could not see over the crowd. He ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree in hopes of getting a glimpse of the great teacher.

When Jesus saw him, He knew who he was and what he had done (He called him by name)… but Jesus in His perceptive way also sensed the loneliness, the estrangement, the alienation that Zacchaeus was feeling that day… and the Master’s heart went out to him.

Jesus went over and in essence he said this to him: “Zacchaeus, I know who you are. I know all about you. I know what you’ve done, but I want to spend some time with you. Hurry and come down and let’s have lunch together.”

Zacchaeus felt the warmth, the love, the acceptance, the forgiveness… and he was so touched in that moment that his whole life was changed. It was turned completely around.

By the way… the original Hebrew word for “repent” was “Hashivenu”… and it literally meant “turn around.” It was the word they used in the military for the command “About Face!” That’s what happened to Zacchaeus that day… he welcomed Jesus into his life and he did an “About Face.”

When Zacchaeus said: “Behold Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor and if I have cheated anyone out of anything, I will pay them back 4 times over…” … what he meant was: “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry for what I’ve been and what I’ve done and for the pain I’ve caused and by the grace of God and with the help of God I want to do better.”

We can all relate to Zacchaeus, can’t we? We all have clay feet. We all mess up. We all stub our toes. We all do selfish things. We all sin. We all need the forgiveness that only Christ can give… And we all need to say “I’m sorry.”

The ability to say “I’m sorry” and mean it… is a key ingredient in Christian Love and in Christian maturity.

Let me bring this closer to home now and be more specific with three thoughts.

(1) FIRST OF ALL, LOVE MEANS BEING ABLE TO SAY “I’M SORRY” TO GOD.

One of the most famous composers had a rebellious son who used to come in late at night after his mother and father had gone to bed. And before going to his own room, this rebellious son would go to his father’s piano and slowly, spitefully… and loudly would play a simple scale, all but the final note. He would play, “Do-Re-Mi-Fa-Sol-La-Ti…” and then he wouldn’t strike that final “Do.” Then leaving the scale unfinished, he would retire to his room.

Meanwhile, his father (great musician that he was) hearing the scale minus the final note,… would twist and turn and writhe on his bed,… his mind unable to relax because the scale was not finished.

Finally, not able to stand it any longer, the father would crawl out of bed, stumble down the stairs and strike that final note of the scale. Only then could he relax and be at peace.

Now, that’s an interesting parable to me because it reminds us of the way we so often treat God. We play around with some of the notes of faith, but we don’t play the full scale…
- We forgive, but not completely.
- We love, but not completely.
- We serve, but not completely.
- We accept Christ, but not completely.
- We live the Christian life-style but not completely.
- We commit our lives to God, but not completely.

But then, even when we treat God shabbily, in his infinite patience and amazing grace, he continues to reach out to us,… he continues to love us.

Some years ago, a young man showed up at my office one Monday morning. I had never seen him before. He said: “Jim, you don’t know me. I’m not a member of your church, but if you will let me have a few minutes, I want to tell you my story… and then ask you one question.”

Through tears he told me that he was 19 years old and was from Lincoln, Nebraska and that 2 years before,… he and his father had had an ugly confrontation one Saturday night. After the heated argument, this young man had run away from home.

- He left a hostile note on his pillow.
- He went to the family-owned drugstore and cleaned out the cash register.
- He left another angry note there.
- And then he skipped town.
- He had not seen or talked to his mother and father for two years.

“I was so stupid, so arrogant, so selfish, so cruel, so immature!” he said. And then he said: “Now, here’s the question: How could they ever forgive me?” “Tell you what,” I said to him. “Why don’t we just call them right now and ask them?”

I handed him the phone. He dialed the number and when his dad answered, that young man cried out: “O Dad, I’m in Houston and I want you to know that I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry… I don’t know how you could ever forgive me for all…”

Then he stopped talking suddenly and he sat there silently for a moment just listening with big tears streaming down his face… and then he hung up the phone.

“What did your dad say?” I asked him. “It’s unbelievable,” he said. “What?” I asked. “Dad said that he and mom would be on the next plane to Houston… that they’ve been worried sick about me… that just hearing my voice was the happiest moment of his life… that they’re coming to get me… they’re coming to take me home.”

Now… wait a minute… we’ve heard this story before, haven’t we? It’s a modern-day version of The Parable of the Prodigal Son… a story Jesus told long ago to show us how loving and gracious and forgiving God is!

When we turn to Him in penitence… When we say to Him, “I’m sorry,”… He is there for us. He runs to greet us… anxious to wrap the warm arms of forgiveness around us.

Let me ask you something:

- How is it with you right now?
- Have you drifted away from God”
- Have you skipped town?
- Have you been playing around with the keyboard of faith, but not really completing the full scale?
- Have you been caught up in some secret sin that’s keeping you away from God?
- Do you need to say: “O God, forgive me!”

This is Number One… Love means being able to say “I’m sorry” to God.

(2) SECOND, LOVE ALSO MEANS BEING ABLE TO SAY “I’M SORRY” TO OTHER PEOPLE.

Have you heard the story about the little boy who turned in his English composition, his first effort in cursive writing. The teacher looked over his work… and noticed a place where he forgot to put the dot over an “i.” She said: “Look here, Tommy, where’s the dot over the “i”? Tommy said: “It’s still in the pencil!”

The point is clear. If you’ll pardon the pun, the Christian faith says to us: “Get the lead out, when it comes to saying I’m sorry.” Don’t leave your apologies unexpressed. Don’t leave your “I’m sorry’s in the pencil.

- If you need to mend a broken relationship with any other human being in this world, don’t wait, go fix that today!

- If you need to say “forgive me” to any other human being… what are you waiting for? Get the lead out!!! Go fix that today!

- If you have hurt someone, or disappointed someone, or let somebody down, or even if you have been inadvertently misunderstood by someone… don’t let another moment pass… go make amends… go set that right. Go say “I’m sorry and I want things to be well with us!”

- But you may say… “It wasn’t really my fault”… well it may not be your fault, but if you are a Christian, it is your responsibility. For their sake, for your sake, for God’s sake… go fix that!

Love means being able to say I’m sorry to God… and to other people.

(3) THIRD AND FINALLY… LOVE MEANS BEING ABLE TO SAY “I’M SORRY” TO OUR FAMILY.

The way families get torn apart is simply unbelievable. It is so sad and so unnecessary. So often, a simple, humble apology would quickly make things right.

Some years ago in another state, I was visiting with a man who was at odds with his daughter over her upcoming wedding. He wanted the wedding to be in June, but his daughter and her fiancé for good reasons had chosen a date in April.

For some reason this infuriated the dad. He told them to get out of his house… and that if they didn’t change the wedding to June, he not only would not attend, but he would never speak to either one of them again as long as he lived.

His daughter left in tears. The next day, the dad showed up in my office, told me what had happened and then asked me what I would do if I were him. I knew this was highly emotional to him so I measured my words carefully.

“I don’t like to give advice,” I said to him, “but you asked me what I would do if I were in your place, so I’ll tell you… you know you could lose your daughter over this and I don’t think it’s worth that,… so, if I were you… I would go to her and I would say: “I’m so sorry… I wasn’t myself yesterday… Please forgive me… let me help you have the wedding of your dreams.”

He looked at me with hard eyes and he said: “Don’t hold your breath… I’ll die before I’ll do that!”

The following April, his daughter had a beautiful wedding. She and her husband have been happily named now for 25 years. They have three wonderful children, but her Dad knows very little about any of that because he has not seen or spoken to his daughter for over 25 years… and he has never laid eyes on his three grandchildren!

Isn’t that sad? Isn’t that pitiful? Isn’t that tragic? Don’t let that happen to you… Don’t let that happen in your family… If there is a problem… go fix it… because Love means being able to say “I’m Sorry” to God, “I’m sorry” to other people and sometimes “I’m sorry” to our family.