Americans are fascinated with being the best. Young people in warpaint and costume are regularly seen running up and down the sidelines at sporting events, index fingers thrust in the air, shouting, "We're number one! We're number one!" Who, after all, wants to be less than the best? But wait a minute! I know people who love to sing, but won't utter a note because they don't sound like Pavoratti. I admire the chap who said, "Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly." There is a place in this world for the mediocre -- that's most of us. If I have to be the best at whatever I do, I won't do much.

The Guinness Book Of World Records describes in graphic detail just how far this fascination with being number one can go. The most bizarre record of human achievement is in the category of eating.…