A church organist sent the following note to his minister: “I am sorry to say that my wife died last night. Could you please find a substitute for me for the weekend?”

Well, I’m certain he meant a substitute organist not a substitute wife.

Speaking of substitutes, there was an award ceremony years ago for the legendary baseball player Joe DiMaggio at the Lotos Club of NY. At that event, DiMaggio’s former teammate, Phil Rizzuto, told the audience that one time DiMaggio, who was wildly popular, was supposed to speak at a church in New Jersey. But he couldn’t make it. And so he asked Rizzuto to substitute for him.

The crowd at the church didn’t know ahead of time that DiMaggio, the scheduled speaker, wouldn’t be there and they were furious. They took it out on Rizzuto his substitute. Rizzu…