Have you ever watched children choosing up sides for a game? It seems as if certain children always get chosen first: the taller, stronger, more athletic, more intelligent, more popular. As more names are called and teams are formed, inevitably there is a small huddle of children standing off to the side trying to pretend that it doesn't matter. But it does. It matters and it hurts. These children can't help but overhear the scornful laughter and humiliating names aimed in their direction.

Remember that old adage, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me"? Well, that's wrong. Many of us carry deep scars in our hearts well into adulthood from just such experiences of taunting and rejection. Many of us still allow the shame of being among the last chosen to shape …