Our most important conversations are often with ourselves. What is it that goes through your mind in the midnight watches, and will not let you go? Some people chew on revenge, rehearse angry conversations, gnaw on old grudges and cannot sleep. I know people who have held onto the same debilitating bitterness for decades. It is the sole topic of their with-themselves conversations night after night. And the more they chew on the leathery sinews, the more preoccupied they are with the chewing.

When I first visited Asia, I was served a salad containing strange looking white bits and pieces of something I didn't recognize. I was told it was octopus. I discovered in short order that the only way to eat it was to swallow it quickly. I made the mistake of chewing it. The longer I chewed the chewi…