She was a beautiful Scandinavian girl. She had come to the hotel room of Dr. and Mrs. Walter Trobisch for counseling, just one day after they had given a lecture at one of the universities of northern Europe. As they talked about her problems, one basic issue kept coming up – one that seemed to be at the root at all her problems. She could not love herself! In fact, she hated herself so much that she was only a step away from ending her own life. She had been raised in a very religious home. Her parents were sincere, no doubt, but they had given her a terribly distorted understanding of the Christian life. Because of what her parents and pastors had taught her, she was afraid of affirming any good thing about herself. She was afraid that self-appreciation would lead to pride, and pride would lead to alienation from God. So, for her, the life of faith required self-depreciation – putting herself down! She believed that rejection of the self was the only way to God!

That's why her religious convictions led her to the brink of suicide. During the counseling session there in the hotel room, Dr. Trobisch led her to a mirror where he asked her to look carefully at her image. She turned away, unable to look at herself. He held her head gently but firmly and made her look into her own eyes. Obviously the experience was painful for her emotionally. Dr. Trobisch asked her to repeat after him: “I am a beautiful girl – I am a beautiful girl." But she couldn't do it. She just couldn't do it - because in her eyes that was sinful.

Where did we ever get the idea that to affirm ourselves, to appreciate ourselves is wrong? Certainly we didn't get that from Jesus. When we read the gospels carefully, we discover that Jesus went around day after day looking for the good in people, pointing it out to them, and asking them to celebrate it. And, in the scripture from the 22nd chapter of Matthew, Jesus tells us to love our neighbors. How? As we love ourselves. Notice that Jesus does not say we are to love our neighbors instead of ourselves. We are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. It is inarguable: Jesus wants us to love ourselves!