Nearly every couple who graces my office for premarital counseling is asked, "What do you especially love about him/her; what is their extra special quality?" More often than not my question is greeted with embarrassed silence. Those that venture forth with an answer are often very general or vague like, "I feel good when we are together." Sometimes there is the diplomatic answer, "I like everything about her, she is so perfect." It is hard to keep a straight face as I wonder how such a response will hold up in six months.

In general, much of our contemporary concept of love is unbiblical and unhelpful. Too much of what passes itself off for love today is s…