Everyone knows. I thought I could conceal it for a few more years, but it's too late now. Whether they saw me in aisle 15 or in aisle 26, from a distance or from the back or right up close chatting in a deep voice with a guy in a red vest on a stocking cart, they'll have picked up on it right away. I am an impostor in at least half the aisles at Home Depot. I might be able to say "3/4 inch anti-siphon valve with union," but I don't know how to install …