You hear it from well-mannered guests, "Is there anything I can do?" It is the polite question to ask the hostess. She gets up to make the final preparations for the meal, leaves the living room. You say, "Is there anything I can do?" Usually the answer is, "No. Just sit there, be comfortable, everything is taken care of."

That question is asked more rarely after the meal. It's 11:00 p.m., people still sitting there in the living room, talking. It is not often then that a guest will ask, "Is there anything I can do?" More often they will say, "Well, I guess it is time to go home now." If anyone were to ask me as a host, at that hour, "Is there anything I can do?" I would say, "Yes. You can do the dishes. Then put the light out when you leave."

At other times people will ask, "Is there an…