The Toronto Star invited teachers to submit excuses they had received from their students. They received these examples:

• A student explaining why he was late: "I was kidnapped by aliens and interrogated for three hours."
• Another student, telling why he had failed to turn in his essay: "The bus driver read it and liked it so much he kept it to show to his passengers."
• Another: "I got mugged on the way to school. I offered him my money, my watch, and my penknife but all he wanted was my essay."
• Mike, a 14-year old, came up with a "watertight" excuse for arriving at school an hour late with his pants soaked to the knees: "I was just about to board the bus when I found I'd lost my ticket. Since it would take too long to walk to school, I hopped a fence onto a golf course. I headed for a …