Comedian Bob Hope was accepting a plaque at an honorary dinner. He listened as his many contributions to humanity were lauded. When it was his turn to speak, he said that he had stopped letting such honors go to his head. "I just got a call from a fellow who said I'd been named Man of the Year by his organization," Hope said, "because I was America's outstanding citizen, greatest humanitarian, and so forth. It was going to be the biggest dinner, biggest civil reception ever. I told him I was sorry, but I was going to be tied up that night. There was a short pause. Then the caller said, By any chance would you have Red Skelton's phone number?'"

An Episcopal priest was asked by a high school class in Cambridge, Maryland, to deliver the graduation sermon. Afterwards he spoke of the invitatio…