In a Newsweek cover story entitled, "Talking to God", a Gallup poll reported that 91% of women and 85% of men say they pray regularly. That includes 94% of blacks and 87% of whites; 57% of Americans say they pray at least once every day.1
This survey went on to say that 32% of the people who pray, report that praying gives them a deep sense of peace; 26% said they sense the actual presence of God in their prayers.2 All of that sounded encouraging until I read this final statistic: Only 15% regularly receive definite answers to their prayers.
Now that tells me something. A lot of people are praying, but very few people are connecting. I am reminded of a story about a children's Sunday School class, who adopted as a project to write letters to foreign missionaries.
The teacher told them that these were real live missionaries and they were very busy, and might not have time to answer their letters. So you can imagine the surprise of one missionary when he received this letter from one of the girls in the class:
Dear Rev. Smith:
We are praying for you, but don't worry, we're not expecting an answer.
Well, God not only wants us to pray, but He wants us to pray in such a fashion that we will indeed expect, and get, an answer. It is one thing to emotionally experience prayer; it is still another thing to verbally express prayer. But we must learn to spiritually expect prayer to be answered.
Let me give you a thought that will shake you to your roots—God never does anything apart from prayer. R. A. Torrey once said, "Prayer is the key that unlocks all the storehouses of God's infinite grace and power. All that God is, and all that God has, is at the disposal of prayer. But we must use the key. Prayer can do anything that God can do, and since God can do anything, prayer is omnipotent."
I believe Dr. Torrey was right. But if the key to getting God to work is prayer, what is the key to getting prayer to work? Well, the answer to that question is found in two beautiful verses in 1 John that may make up the greatest prayer promise in all of the Bible. John gives us three surefire, fail-safe, foolproof principles that will help us get on God's wavelength and connect with God every time we pray.
I. Confidence in the Person of God
"Now this is the confidence that we have in Him." (v.14a) Now the word confidence is a word that literally means "freedom of speech." In the Greek language it was a political term, and it referred to the freedom to speak your mind in an open assembly. The prayer that connects with God is, first of all, confident; confident that God will hear and that God will answer.
It is also transparent. It is willing to talk to God about anything—big things, little things, great things, small things, not just some things or most things, but all things.
When you pray God is not nearly as concerned that you pray eloquently, nor even that you pray fervently, as much as He is that you pray confidently.
We must be confident that we have access to God. Rom. 5:2 says that through Jesus Christ "we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand." We must be confident that we have acceptance with God. We must be confident that we will get an answer from God.
God wants to hear prayer, and God delights to answer prayer. George Mueller, one of the greatest prayer warriors who ever lived, who counted at least 25,000 distinct answers to prayer that God gave him, said, "Prayer is not overcoming God's reluctance, it is laying hold of His willingness."
Heb. 4:16 tells us, "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." But why should we have confidence? Why should we be bold, knowing that we are going into the presence of an infinite, omnipotent, almighty God who spoke this world into existence, and upholds the universe with the tip of his finger?
Well, not just anyone can talk to God in confidence. This confidence is restricted to the people referred to by that pronoun "we." Now who is this "we?" Back in v.13 we see it is the people who believe in the name of the Son of God. Those who believe in that name, according to John 1:12, are the children of God.
The reason why we ought to be confident when we pray is because we are children of God. When we talk to God, it is not just as a citizen would talk to a president, or a subject would talk to a king, or a slave would talk to a master. It is as a son would speak to a father.
When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, the first thing he taught them was to pray to "Our Father in heaven." Jesus said the relationship of a child to a father is the basis of all true prayer. There are three young men in my life named James, Jonathan, and Joshua, who know if they have a true need they can come to me at any time with confidence, knowing that I will meet that need. That is because those three young men happen to me my sons.
Jesus said, "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" (Mt. 7:11)
John goes on to say that this confidence is what we have "in Him." The word "in" is a preposition that literally means "beside" or "with." It is a preposition of intimacy. You see, the moment you pray, you are immediately seated right next to your Father in heaven. Someone has said, "Prayer is whispering in the ear of God."
When you take time to pray, God takes time to listen. He listens attentively. He listens compassionately. He listens totally. You have His undivided attention. He wants to know what is on your heart.
Do you think that if I were to call the President of the United States that he would answer the phone and talk to me? (An even greater question is: Do you really think I would even bother to call this President?)
Do you think if I wrote the President of the United States that he would actually read my letter? But I want you to know that the minute that I look up to heaven and say, "Heavenly Father," He drops everything he is doing, looks at me and says, "Son, speak, you have my undivided attention."
But notice that our confidence is to be placed in God, not in prayer. The confidence that we have is in Him, not in our prayer. You see, we are to pray in faith, but our faith is never to be placed in prayer. Faith is to be placed in a person, the Lord Jesus Christ. Let me give you a wonderful secret about prayer. When you pray, don't concentrate on what you're asking for, concentrate on who you are praying to.
Do you know what prayer is? Prayer is a gage of how much you believe in God, how much you trust in God, and how much confidence you really have in God. "Without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." (Heb. 11:6)
II. Commitment to the Purpose of God
Now the confidence that we have is this: "If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us." (v.14b) It has been well said, "Nothing lies beyond the reach of prayer except that which lies beyond the will of God." In order to pray in the will of God, you must, first of all, seek the will of God, so that you can know the will of God, and then be able to do the will of God.
All three of those are necessary. To do the will of God, you must know the will of God. To know the will of God, you must seek the will of God. You cannot do what you are supposed to do unless you know what you're supposed to do, and you cannot know what you're supposed to do until you seek out what you're supposed to do. But with God, you cannot know His will until you are willing to do His will. So therefore, to pray according to the will of God, there are three things we must do.
a. Desire the Will of God
The purpose of prayer is not to get our will done in heaven; it is to get God's will done on earth. Some people see the will of God as limiting prayer. Quite the contrary, the will of God does not limit prayer, it expands prayer. For you to worry about being restricted by the will of God would be like a minnow being concerned about being hemmed in by the Atlantic Ocean.
Do you know why you should always desire the will of God? Because God wants to give you what you would want God to give you if you were simply wise enough to want it. Praying in the will of God does not mean less blessing, it means greater blessing.
If there is one thing that no Christian should ever be afraid of, it is the will of God. The reason for that is simple—Father knows best. The greatest place, the safest place, the happiest place to be is in the center of the will of God for your life.
b. Discern the Will of God
Now when we talk about the will of God, the question is always raised: "How can you know the will of God?" Well, obviously, we would not be told to pray according to the will of God if we could not know it.
The Bible says in Col. 1:9 that we should pray to be "filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding." God is more willing for you to know His will than you are to know it. Our Heavenly Father does not play spiritual cat-and-mouse with us. He does not play hide-and-seek. He does not treat His will like Easter eggs hidden in the grass for us to find. He wants us to know His will, and He has given us two primary ways to discern it.
First of all, there is the external witness of the Scripture. It sounds simple, but it's absolutely true. The will of God is found in the word of God. Whenever you ask God for something, or you are looking for a direction in your life, the first thing you ought to do is to go to the word of God and see what God has to say about that matter.
For example, the word of God may not specifically tell you who to marry, but it tells you specifically who not to marry—for it says very plainly that a Christian should never marry a non-Christian. The word of God will not tell you what movies you can see, but it will tell you what movies you cannot see. For our eyes should never look upon evil, nor should our ears be open to listening to evil. The truth of the matter is, 95% of the time God has already told us His will in His Word.
But the other way is the internal witness of the spirit. Listen to Rom. 8:27, "Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God." There are times when if you will get under the leadership of the Holy Spirit of God, God will by a peace that passes all understanding, guard your heart and your mind and lead you to just the right decision about a given situation that you ought to make.
c. Do the Will of God
If you are not willing to do the will of God, quit trying to discern the will of God or even desire the will of God, for God will never reveal His will to you. The Bible says in John 7:17, "If anyone wants to do His will, he shall know concerning the doctrine, whether it is from God or whether I speak on My own authority."
If you are out of the will of God, you will not know the will of God until you are willing to get back in the will of God. If there is any area where you know you are out of the will of God, mark it down, God will not reveal His will for your life in any other area until you get back in His will in that area.
Whatever else God is, He is not foolish nor naive. When he sees you are not willing to submit to His will in one area of your life, He knows there is no need to reveal His will to you in any other area of your life, for you will not obey Him in that area either. God's will is not like a cafeteria line. You can't go through the line and say, "Well, I'll take this, but I won't take that. I will do this, but I won't do that."
You know, there are a lot of people who make up their mind about what they want to do regardless of what God says about it. Then they'll say they've prayed about it, do what they want to do in the beginning, and then say that God told them to do it.
I heard about a hobo who was traveling over the countryside, and he would just go willy-nilly this way or that way, and one day a friend said to him, "How do you decide when you come to a fork in the road whether you are going to go to the left or the right?
The hobo said, "Well, I have a stick I carry with me. I throw it up in the air and then I watch and see which way it lands. If it lands pointing to the right I go to the right. If it points to left I go to the left." Then he said, "You know sometimes I have to throw that stick up in the air as many as nine times to make it land just right."
Now there are many people who have made up their mind who they are going to marry, what they are going to do, and they don't really care whether God approves of it or not. Then they'll go to God with some two-bit prayer, do what they want to do in the beginning, and then when it doesn't work out, blame God with the problem.
Understand, if you are going to pray a prayer that connects with God, and pray a prayer in the will of God, it's not enough to desire it, it's not enough to discern it, you must be willing to do whatever it is that God tells you to do.
III. Conviction Concerning the Promise of God
In verse 15 the word know is used twice. Now if you think something that is an opinion. But if you know something that is a conviction. We can have a conviction of two sure things.
First of all, God will respond to our prayers. "And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask…" (v.15a) The word "hear" means not only just to listen to something, but to act on what has been heard. Now God responds to prayers in various ways.
Sometimes His response is direct. Isa. 65:24 says, "It shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear." Sometimes God's answer comes straight from heaven immediately after we pray. He answers directly.
Sometimes His response is delayed. Isa. 30:18 says, "Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you." You see, there are times that God wants for us what we want; He just doesn't want it at the same time. When I was a boy, for several Christmases I would ask my Dad for a gun so that I could go hunting with him.
Now my father always intended to give me a gun, because he wanted me to go hunting with him. But he loved me enough not to give me the gun until I was ready for it. You remember that God not only knows what is best, He knows when it is best.
Sometimes God's response may be different. You know oftentimes what we think we want is not necessarily the same as what God knows that we need. Sometimes God answers our prayer, but He does it in a totally different fashion that what we expect.
I heard a pastor one time say, "For fifteen years I prayed for God to give me a beautiful wife and a big church. He said, "God almost answered my prayer. He gave me a beautiful church and a big wife."
Then sometimes God's response may be denial. You see, there are times that God simply says, No." But there is one thing you can always rest assured of, and that is, when God says no, He is not being cruel, He's not being mean. It simply means He's got something better for us.
There used to be a preacher down in Florida by the name of Dr. Ed Solomon. He was a great preacher of the Word of God who later became the editor of the Florida Baptist Witness. Dr. Solomon got up in a congregation one time in his own church where he was pastoring, there in the college town where he went to school. Some of his professors were out there and his wife was even sitting there listening to him.
Dr. Solomon, talking about the will of God, said, "God never did give me anything I wanted." He said, "God did not let me pastor the church that I always wanted to pastor." Now imagine how the church felt when he said that. He said, "God didn't even let me go to the college where I wanted to go."
Remember, his professors were sitting right there. Then he said, "God didn't even let me marry the woman that I wanted to marry." Well, not only was his wife sitting there, she was about to get up. Then Dr. Solomon said, "But do you know what, God always gave me something better than I wanted." That is what God does. We always get the best when we leave the choice to Him.
But we also know that God will reward our prayers. "We know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him." When you are right with God, you have prayed in faith, you have spoken in the name of Jesus, and you're in the center of God's will, whether you have seen the answer to that prayer or not, you can rest assured it is on the way and you will have what you have asked of God.
I heard about a tavern that was being built in a town that had previously been totally dry. In opposition to the tavern, a group of Christians began an all-night prayer meeting and asked God to do something to keep that tavern from being finished. Well, the very night they were praying, lightning struck the tavern and burned it completely to the ground.
Well, the tavern owner brought a lawsuit against the church, and held them responsible for the tavern burning down. Do you know what the church did? They hired a lawyer and denied all responsibility!
In response to this unusual scenario, the judge said, "No matter how this case comes out, one thing is clear. The tavern owner believes in prayer, and the church does not."
I believe, like most people in America, we connect so little with God when we pray, that when God does answer one of our prayers we are absolutely shocked. Well, I've got news for you. Answered prayer should not be the exception; answered prayer should be the rule.
Remember this: To connect with God you got to have a connection. The connection is Jesus Christ, and when you come to Him, and surrender your life, you become a part of the family of God; and when you talk to God as a child talks to a father, you are guaranteed to connect every time.
1. "Talking to God," Newsweek, January 6, 1992.
2. Ibid.