The following list must be carefully followed if you wish to be miserable:

• Think about yourself.
• Talk about yourself.
• Use "I" as often as possible.
• Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others.
• Listen greedily to what people say about you.
• Expect to be appreciated.
• Be suspicious.
• Be jealous and envious.
• Be sensitive to slights.
• Never forgive a criticism.
• Trust nobody but yourself.
• Insist on consideration and respect.
• Demand agreement with your own views on everything.
• Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them.
• Never forget a service you have rendered.
• Shirk your duties if you can.
• Do as little as possible for others.