How Much Is That Preacher?

Good morning, madam. May I help you?

Yes, please, I'd like to buy a minister.

For yourself or your church?

Oh, for my church, of course. I'm already married.

Uh, yes. Did you have a particular model in mind?

I've got a description from the Candidate Committee right here. We want a man about 30, well educated, with some experience. Good preacher and teacher. Balanced personality. Serious, but with a sense of humor. Efficient, but not rigid. Good health. Able to identify with all age groups. And, if possible, sings tenor.

Sings tenor?

We're short of tenors in the choir.

I see. Well, that's quite a list. How much money did you want to spend?

The committee says $22,000. $24,500 tops.

Hmmm. Well, perhaps we'd better start in the bargain basement.

Tell me, …