The key to a good relationship is ignorance. The key is to realize that inside your partner’s mind lies a world that is completely different from yours. And you have no clue what it’s like there unless you ask, and then listen.
Here’s the question to ask, especially if you’ve been willfully ignorant about some tension, or anxiety, or disagreement between you and your spouse: “What is it like in her (or his) world?” And then shut up and listen. When she finishes describing her world, replay her words back to her as objectively as you can. Then I ask, “Is that right?” If so, then ask, “Is there more?” And repeat the process until your view of her world is as clear and complete as possible.
ChristianGlobe Network, ChristianGlobe Illustrations, by Galen Guengerich