1. What Do Daddies Do?

Six-year-old Calvin is talking to his stuffed Tiger Hobbes:  Calvin: Here's a box of crayons. I need some illustrations for a story I'm writing. You can draw something besides tigers, can't you? Hobbes: Sure, Leopards, pumas, ocelots....you name it. (Time passes and we find Calvin in bed with his stuffed tiger, ready to be tucked in by his father.) 

Calvin: Here Dad, read this story tonight. I wrote it and Hobbes illustrated it.

Dad:...Um. OK. (He reads aloud.) "The Dad Who Lived to Regret Being Mean to His Kid."

Hobbes: What are you pausing for. Keep reading.

Dad: Barney's dad was really bad. So Barney hatched a plan. When his dad said, "Eat your peas!" Barney shouted, "NO!" and ran. Barney tricked his mean ol' dad and locked him in the cellar. His mom never fo…