Penelope J. Stokes tells about her reaction to a scene in the motion picture, Waiting to Exhale. A woman, victimized by her husband's infidelity, gathers up his clothes, his shoes, his personal belongings, and stuffs them into his expensive Mercedes. When the closets and drawers are empty, she returns to the car, sets a torch to the contents, and stands there with tears streaming down her cheeks as the evidence of her marriage goes up in flames.

"Most people in the audience cheered," says Penelope Stokes. "I cried," she says, "because her defiant gesture of closure did nothing to heal the woundedness of her heart."

A bit of revenge may have lifted that woman's heart for a moment. But to move toward healing, she would have to learn as we all must learn how to forgive.