At a certain popular resort there are hot springs and cold springs side by side. Local people washed clothes in the hot spring and then rinsed them in the cold. A tourist, watching the procedure, said to one of the natives, "How bountiful of nature to supply these springs." "Not so bountiful," said the native. "You'll notice there's no soap."

A new pastor was full of enthusiasm on his first Sunday. He mentioned the thrill of accepting the call of the congregation, particularly since it had been a unanimous vote. After the service, the Chair of the Pastor Nominating Committee said, "I told you it was NEARLY a unanimous vote. I never actually said it was unanimous." The pastor asked, "What do you mean, nearly unanimous." The Chair explained that it was practically a unanimous vote. The Past…