Grammar Fumblerules
Illustration
by William Safire

William Safire gave a lighthearted look at grammar and good usage. The following are "fumblerules." Mistakes that call attention to the rule:

  • Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
  • No sentence fragments.
  • It behooves us to avoid archaisms.
  • Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
  • Don't use no double negatives.
  • If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: Resist hyperbole.
  • Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
  • Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
  • Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
  • Writing carefully, dangling participles should not be used.
  • Kill all exclamation points!!!
  • Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
  • Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  • Take the bull by the hand, and don't mix metaphors.
  • Don't verb nouns.
  • Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
  • Last but not least, avoid clichés like the plague.
New York: Doubleday, Fumblerules, by William Safire