There was a church secretary who took a most unusual phone call. The caller asked if he could speak to "the Head Hog." Well, she quickly defended the dignity of her pastor, and with an irate tone said, "I want you to know that our pastor is held in the very highest esteem around here, and we address him as Rev. H. C. Herald. Currently Rev. Herald is not available to speak with you."

The man then responded, "Well, I am sorry. I just learned about your new building program and my CPA recommended that I donate $1 million to provide a good tax shelter for me." The secretary quickly responded, "Wait just a minute, I believe I see the fat pig coming down the hall right now."

Influence is a marvelous thing. Dale Carnegie wrote a best-selling book, in fact, one of the best-selling books of all t…