You may remember reading several years ago about a pair of polite gunmen with British or Australian accents who were robbing homeowners in moneyed neighborhoods of suburban Montgomery County, Md. The masked duo struck several times, usually entering the homes through the garage or unlocked doors. The intruders were unfailingly polite and as far as we know, no one was hurt.

One homeowner in Potomac, Md., was robbed after letting his dogs outside at about 5:30 a.m. and leaving a sliding glass door unlocked. Instead of the dogs coming back in, the homeowner was confronted by one of the robbers, who pointed a gun at his head. The gunman "was quite polite throughout the whole episode," the homeowner, who asked not to be identified, told THE WASHINGTON POST. "We got into a conversation as if he was a buddy," the homeowner said. "By the time he left, I put my arm on his shoulder and said, 'I'm sorry I didn't have more money."'

We are impressed, aren't we, when people show good manners? And we are turned off by the person who is rude or inconsiderate.

Walking into an office, a know-it-all salesman demanded to see the manager without delay.

The secretary informed him, "I'm sorry, he is not here. Can I help you?"

The salesman snapped: "I never deal with underlings. I'll wait until the manager returns."

"Very well," responded the secretary as she returned to her work.

After an hour passed, the salesman became impatient. Authoritatively he wanted to know, "How much longer do I have to wait?"

Demurely the secretary answered, "About two weeks. He went on vacation yesterday."

Good manners will take you a long way. If you are a doctor they may even keep you out of court. Why is it that the vast majority of people who are injured as a result of medical negligence don't sue for malpractice? It all comes down to interpersonal skills, say researchers at Vanderbilt University. According to a study which was reported in the JOURNAL OF THE AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, doctors who are sued tend to be ones who make patients feel rushed or ignored on their visits, or that fail to answer their questions. (1) The lawsuits had nothing to do with competence. They had everything to do with courtesy.

Good manners make a difference. Good manners show good breeding, some people say. And good breeding is important. I think that is why some Americans love British television shows. Thirty-seven percent of Americans agree that while they would hate being British, they wouldn't mind having a British accent. Why is that? My guess is that a polished British accent is for many people the ultimate in class and sophistication. We admire people with good taste, good manners, good breeding.

DID YOU KNOW, THOUGH, THAT GOOD MANNERS IS NOT THE SAME AS GOOD RELIGION? There are many people who have good manners whose hearts are corrupt and cold. There are many people who have the so-called marks of good breeding, who have no regard for God or for humanity.

Let me ask you, if you saw two men listening to music ” one was listening to an opera by Wagner and the other was listening to Rap music ” how would you regard them? Would you say the former was better educated, perhaps, had better taste? You know, I have never heard of people listening to rap music while they sent their neighbors to be gassed by the millions in ovens. But the Nazis did. And some of these Nazis had impeccable taste and manners.

Good manners is not the same as good religion. Dwight L. Moody was one of the greatest Christian preachers who ever lived. When Moody began his ministry, though, he was criticized often. Why? Because of his lack of polish and sophistication. On an evangelistic speaking tour in London, the newspapers reported on his "vulgar accent," and called him an "illiterate preacher." One newspaper even reported that Moody's work seemed to "degrade religion to the level of the 'penny gaff,' an itinerant gutter show like 'Punch and Judy.'"

But this criticism didn't seem to discourage the thousands of people who faithfully attended Moody's preaching engagements. Even the lord chancellor of England and the former prime minister, William Gladstone, attended his meetings. One man, Lord Shaftesbury, had great qualms about attending one of his services, but he went anyway. Though Lord Shaftesbury was put off by Moody's accent, and scandalized by his use of humor and illustrations in his sermons, he had to admit that Moody's preaching touched and inspired people in an amazing way. People from every social class and educational background filled Moody's services. A man named Dr. Dale was particularly struck by Moody's ability to reach so many different kinds of people, and he remarked to Moody, "The work is most plainly of God, for I can see no relation between yourself and what you have done." Laughing, Moody agreed. "I should be very sorry," he said, "if it were otherwise." (2) Good manners, good taste, proper breeding are not the same as good religion.

JESUS' DISCIPLES WERE CRITICIZED FOR THEIR LACK OF GOOD MANNERS. Did you know that? Specifically, they failed to wash their hands before eating. Now, today, this would be considered poor hygiene. In Jesus' time, it was considered poor religion. The Jews of that day had a ritual of ceremonial cleansing which they performed before eating their meals. Isn't it interesting, by the way, how many of the practices of the Jews have turned out to be beneficial? Very recent research indicates that many of the common illnesses that plague us could be eliminated if people would simply wash their hands before eating. The disciples didn't know about germs. Evidently they were not too well-steeped in religious tradition, either. We need to remember that these men were not professional religionists when Jesus found them. They were men of the world from the backwater region of Galilee. They didn't have the polished sophistication of London or San Francisco or New York. They hadn't read John Malloy's DRESS FOR SUCCESS or Amy Vanderbilt's BOOK OF ETIQUETTE. They were rather crude men even by the standards of their own day.

But Jesus saw possibilities in them that those who criticized them did not see. And Jesus decided to turn this into a teaching opportunity. "Well did Isaiah prophecy of you hypocrites," said Jesus to those who were criticizing his disciples. "As it is written, 'This people worships me with their lips but their hearts are far from me; in vain do they worship me, TEACHING AS DOCTRINES THE PRECEPTS OF MEN.'"

What does Jesus mean by the phrase "teaching as doctrines the precepts of men"? Is he not saying that there is a difference between good manners and good religion? There is a difference between the core truths of our faith and the trappings that have accumulated around those truths. Christian faith is not a matter of keeping traditions as much as it is caring about people. It is not a matter of sacred ceremony as much as it is living in a vital relationship with the Creator. The disciples weren't sophisticated men, but there was nothing wrong with their heart, and that was what counted.

DID YOU KNOW THIS IS A BATTLE THAT CONTINUES IN THE CHURCH EVEN TODAY? We are continually having to balance our traditions with our responsibilities to reach out in love and service to the world. There are many of us who prize a certain decorum in worship. We value silence and solemnity. Yet there are prominent voices within the church who say if you are going to reach the world today, you need loud music and more lively worship. How do we balance the two? How do we blend the values of old that many of us consider sacred with the dynamic needs of a world in turmoil. Let me tell you a true story of a church that faced this dilemma between maintaining good taste, or at least proper decorum, and good religion.

During Mass one day the priest was reading the Scripture passage when suddenly a strange noise erupted in the church. It was a strange honking and sputtering sound that erupted, then went away for a few minutes, then erupted again. The members of the choir scooted to the edge of the choir loft to see what all the commotion was. There was a visitor in the congregation, a middle-aged woman with brown hair and dressed in a white uniform. And she was making those strange noises. She sat as still as stone, and clenched her fists beside her. She seemed to be exerting great inner energy to stop the noises, but still they came. The priest went right on reading, as if nothing had happened.

The choir director was a bit ruffled after Mass. She was not pleased that someone had been making strange noises in church. But no one thought it would happen again. The next Sunday, the choir was going to perform a new and difficult arrangement of "Amazing Grace," and the choir director wanted it perfect. The choir was doing a great job until suddenly they heard the noises again. The visitor was back. The choir members got so distracted by the noise that they had to start all over again.

After Mass, people gathered to discuss the disturbance in church. The choir director spotted the visitor as she was leaving and called her over. She started to explain to her that, even though she knew the woman didn't mean to make those sounds, they were still disturbing the worship service. The woman seemed physically to be trying to hold back more of the sounds. In a trembling voice, the visitor apologized and said that it wouldn't happen again. The visitor did not return to church, and some people began to feel that they had been insensitive in objecting to the woman and her strange noises. Then one Sunday, the priest told the congregation a story. That week he had visited a dying woman at a nursing home. As the priest tried to talk to her, the dying woman asked for him to get Estelle. Estelle was one of the nurses at the nursing home. She also happened to be the visitor who had made those strange noises at their church. Estelle soothed and comforted that dying woman much more than the priest ever could have done. The dying woman didn't even notice Estelle's strange noises. She only knew that Estelle loved her. Then the priest explained that Estelle had Tourette's Syndrome, a condition in which the sufferer may suddenly blurt out strange noises or even obscenities. The person suffering from Tourette's cannot control these outbursts at all. The outbursts often come in response to strong emotion. When Estelle was in church worshiping, she often felt very emotional, especially when listening to beautiful music. Unfortunately, this brought on her uncontrollable attacks.

The congregation felt awful at what they had done. They had denied a woman the ability to worship with them because she had disturbed them. They bowed their heads to pray and ask for God's forgiveness, when suddenly they heard a noise from the back of the church. It was a strange honking and sputtering noise, and everyone recognized it immediately. They turned to see Estelle standing at the back of the church. A woman walked over and put her arm around Estelle, to lead her to a pew. Another person handed Estelle a hymnal. Then the congregation rose to sing a hymn, and Estelle sang along, occasionally making her strange noises. But this time nobody minded. These had become part of the joyful noises of their worship service. (3)

I wonder if that could happen in our church ” that we could make somebody feel unwanted because of some infirmity, or because of the way they looked or how they talked. God doesn't expect us to be the largest church in our town or the most impressive. All God expects is that people will find on the inside of our church what the cross on our altar indicates that they have a right to expect ” love, acceptance, genuine Christian caring. Good taste or good religion? Hopefully you and I have both, but if we have to make a choice . . .

1. PSYCHOLOGY TODAY, May/June 1995, p. 18.

2. Rebecca Manley Pippert, OUT OF THE SALTSHAKER (Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 1979), 15.

3. "What Was That Terrible Noise?" by Sharon Robertson, GUIDEPOSTS Oct. 1995, p. 8-30.