Some of you may be familiar with the two-minute radio program, Ask Dr. Science. Dr. Science, as the initiated know, isn't a real doctor. He has a master's degree . . . in science! This disclaimer always runs at the end of the program, however. In the meantime, the announcer asks Dr. Science a question sent in by a listener like, "Why can I only see the stars at night?" Then Dr. Science answers the question in an annoying know-it-all voice that conveys the unspoken message: "This is a highly complex subject and I am having to condescend to your limited intelligence in order to explain it." His answer, however, always misses the point. "You can only see the stars at night because they have to spend all day putting on their make-up and getting their hair done."

Recently, I have begun to thin…