John was showing off his new apartment to his friends.

“Say, what’s that gong for?” asked Ed.

“That’s not a gong,” John replied. “That’s a talking clock.”

“A talking clock?” Ed asked in disbelief. “How’s it work?”

“Watch,” said John. He picked up a sledgehammer and took a swing at the gong.

A voice from the other side of the wall screamed, “Knock it off, you idiot! It’s 2:00 A. M.!”

A talking clock, to be sure. Also, a good test of your neighbors.

A certain woman owned a dog named Tatters. Tatters was notorious for raiding neighborhood garbage cans. One evening Tatters came home with a guilty expression on her face. Very early the following morning, this woman notices that the trash can next door is overturned, and she proceeds to clean up the mess.

During a Kiwanis meeting the nex…