About a year after he graduated from Duke, he left an excited message on our telephone answering machine. "I've got my big break! I got hired for a TV show! I'm going to be on 'Friends,' tonight, Eastern Standard Time, 8:00 p.m. Watch for me."

I was surprised, but pleased for him. I had advised him, just before graduation, that attempting to go into acting was the dumbest thing I had ever heard of ''Nobody gets hired for TV," I said. "It's mostly about being a waiter for the rest of your life," I had said. Still, he was undaunted. And now, only a year later, on TV!

We arranged our evening around it. Though "Friends" is one of the silliest shows I've ever seen, still, it had to be a good break. We watched for his entrance, but the first scene passed, then the second without him. Then, tow…