Jesus was confronted by a man who ran up and knelt before him. You know what? Part of me was right there with that man! I know how he felt, because I have also found reason to kneel before Jesus. What about you? Don’t you know, too? Haven’t you been there along with us? Tempted to follow Jesus, this man was nevertheless compelled by his great possessions to hold back. We are all able to identify with him.
We may think, at first, that the only possessions hard to let go of are riches, power, and noble heritage. Naturally these would be very difficult to surrender. If we do not have them they look very appealing, leading us to believe that any person who had them must be completely satisfied with life. Yet even if we do not have what we consider great possessions, we are able to identify with the man. After all, experience shows us over and over that vast amounts of wealth are not required to make a person self-protective. Let’s look at some of the possessions we all have and why we are unwilling to let them go. We, like the man meeting Jesus, decide we cannot live without them.
The first great possession every person has is “Just One More Time, Lord.” One more affair, one more drink. The alcoholic keeps holding out this one more drink as though it will solve the problem of alcoholism forever. One more shady deal, one more house, one more book published, and one more full barn. One more time to have it my way. Many ads encourage us to have it our way. Ad writers are extremely clever people and know a lot about human nature. They know that people can be lured to buy anything if they think they are really exercising their wishes. “It must be a good way to go because it is so right for me.” I call it being self willed. “One more time to have it my own way; then, Jesus, I’m yours.”
The second great possession every person has is “When I Get My Life in Order,” “When I get even so I’m no longer angry, hurt, or defensive.” “When my business affairs are running smoothly and profitably.” “When my children are self-sufficient and happy.” Of course, if you have children, no matter the age, you have learned long ago that this is one of life’s illusions. It is never satisfied. In effect, we long for the time when we can control life successfully. We are much like the farmer in Scripture who harvested so much that he had to build extra barns, finally content that he had enough to eat, drink, and be merry for his lifetime. This illusion I call self control. “When life finally is completely safe under my control; then, Jesus, I’m yours.”
The third great possession every person has is “Why Did This Happen to Me?” Something deep in our psyches prompts us to accept without question that we are privileged persons. I visited an eighty-year-old lady in a nursing home who had had the flu for two weeks. She had lived a full life as the wife of a well-to-do farmer. She asked, “Why did God do this to me?” I asked her if she had had major illness in her life. No, she had never been seriously ill. “Then,” I said, “why should it seem unfair of God for you to have flu at this late stage of your life?” She did not like my question at all, and she let me know -- our relationship ended right there.
Some time ago three young women were boating. The boat capsized. One woman swam ashore; the other two drowned. The mother of the survivor said loudly and clearly, “God was favorable to me by saving my daughter.” In the face of the abject grief of the other mothers, I find this to be an insensitive comment. In both these instances the great possession is me -- my existence, my well-being before anyone and anything else. I term this possession self centered. “When I get special favor in line with my special merits; then, Jesus, I’m ready to follow you.”
The fourth great possession every person has is “What About My Special Gifts, Powers, or Worth?” We grow euphoric when we ponder: “How glorious I will be when I preach to thousands, my talent having been recognized.” “How gracious I’ll be when I have more money” -- it doesn’t matter if it’s a thousand or a million, the amount keeps rising along with the acquisition of it. “How genuine I will be when my talents are adored by everyone.” “How kind and just when I’m the manager.” “How magnanimous when I’m old and have time for it.” Two ads show our temptation to count ourselves as extraordinary. One declares that, though the person pays more for the product than necessary, “After all, I’m worth it.” The second affirms, “You deserve a break today.” These writers know that deep down we all hunger to have our special worth recognized and stroked. This great possession I call self-justification. “Once I get what I deserve; then, Jesus, I’m yours.”
The story of Faust by Goethe has become part of our heritage. Faust was a man who longed for romance, academic success, and wealth. Unable to find these on his own, he made a pact with the devil. If he could be granted his wishes, have his true worth made public and enjoy its fruits, then he would give his soul to the devil. Sure enough, he enjoyed marvelous romances, fabulous successes, and much wealth. Oddly enough, when the time came, he was unwilling to sustain his part of the bargain. I wonder if there is a parallel here. We put Jesus off, promising, “Just one more of this and one more of that -- then I will be willing to go with you, Jesus.” Are we not like little Fausts, wanting to have it our way? After all, we say, we deserve it! And what do we say to Jesus when he comes to claim us?
These possessions have a common denominator which can be stated in one word: selfish. Give me mine, God, then…. When I’m old, God, then…. When I’m infirm, God, then…. After I’ve had all the earned fun, deserved advantages, and merited successes I’ll be ready to follow. At that point selling my possessions will not bother me, for they will be of no further value to me, anyway. Yet the human ego does not stop simply because we arrive at such times of our lives.
Jesus’ call comes to us: Sell all and come, follow me. But “all” is more than we can bear. We are compelled to pin it down. Somehow we have to put the stamp of self on our lives. In the end Jesus confronts us with life’s most basic question: “Shall my life be self-centered or am I free to give my life to God, the center?” When Jesus confronts us, standing before us and challenging the way with us, we have three responses. One, we look ahead and see the end result of our self-centeredness and accept him as an act of desperation to avoid paying the price that we know to be inevitable. Two, we are overwhelmed by the beauty of his person. In this moment of joy we have no choice but to receive him. Three, we compute the matter -- one more time, one more pleasure. In this third option the choice narrows -- our possession or a life with Jesus. We either surrender the self or turn away and insist on controlling life ourselves, one more time. Faced with Jesus, the choice is Jesus or one more time ourselves. Self at the center or God at the center.
Long ago Moses stood by a burning bush. (Exodus 3) God instructed Moses to take off his shoes because the ground on which he stood was holy ground. Let’s ponder for a moment the implications if Moses had preferred his own shoes to standing barefoot on God’s holy ground. Consider that Moses knew well enough how to walk in his own shoes. It was God’s path that he found uncertain, threatening, compelling, inviting, impossible. Moses’ choice has stamped itself on the hearts of people for thousands of years, luring us to accept God’s summons as a new possibility for life. When such a venture is opened to us we experience our burning bush. What will our response be?
The same opportunity for holy ground is offered us when Christ calls us. We all know how to walk in our shoes. Jesus’ call to us is the same as God’s call to Moses. We are called not necessarily to get rid of the things we possess so much as to let go of the presumptions and attitudes we automatically make about ourselves as the center of life. The encounter is fraught with great consequences which we will only know when we risk the nakedness of our feet on his pathway, following him.
As Jesus stands before us,we can ponder the result if we prefer walking in our own shoes. When we are self-willed, we must win if we are to feel justified before life. But Christ, whether to the world we win or lose, justifies the deep needs of our spirits. With Christ, we always win.
To be self-controlling, we must exercise power, or life is a failure. However, if we choose Christ, we become strong even in our weakness. Scripture promises that in our weakness we are made strong, insofar as our weakness grounds us in Christ. With Christ, we are always strong.
Self-centeredness demands we be in the forefront of everything in order to feel right about ourselves. But if Christ is the center of our lives, we know we are part of the heart of things even though we are slaves of Christ, prisoners of his righteousness. Slave or free, we are free.
To be self-justified we must first succeed -- get our own way -- if we are to feel right about life. But, if we choose Christ, we do not have to succeed in order to feel justified. We are justified all along the way by our faith in him, whether, in the eyes of the world, we succeed or fail. With Christ, we are always victors.
As selfish persons we must always be at the core of things, constantly bolstering egos that, in spite of much success and great possessions, persist in feeling fragile and needy. But, if we choose Christ, since Christ is center-stage in God’s world, we too share the center with him. To become selfless in Christ is to fulfill the true self.
Self-centered or God-centered. This is the heart of the choice. Confrontation with Jesus is not a matter of cutting ourselves off from a petty sin or an amount of money. These may shock us into self-realization. The call presents the heart of the choice: me or Jesus. The decision we make becomes the base for our souls. If Jesus-centered, we let go of bargaining and, grounded on the rock, move on, having won the prize of life, no matter whether in the eyes of the world we win or lose.
The man who knelt before Jesus was told that his great possessions must become secondary to discipleship. At that point the man tried to justify himself by holding on to his great possessions. We, too, face Jesus’ claim over what we possess -- the worth of our souls. As with the man, so with us. Jesus alone is able to stamp upon us infinite worth. No matter how hard we try, we cannot do this for ourselves. In the moment of encounter and our turning loose, Jesus redeems all in us that is of genuine worth, founding it upon a rock not of our own making but of his love and passion to save. Turning from self we become set in the center of God’s working love for his Creation. From this time, by grace, we become a part of God’s saving purpose.